Crises of family life by year - year of crisis of family relations
The crisis of family life is the situation in the family, when the relationship between husband and wife is deteriorating without a clear reason, and it seems that there is no understanding and no way out. Of course, it is difficult to maintain a relationship if you do not understand the person with whom you live, if everything is annoying, and you always want to change something. How to become such a family, where the crisis of relations only strengthens the family and makes it even stronger?
In fact, the crises of family life come to us by years and by events related to the life of the family. Crises of family life can be divided by years by approximately 1,3,7,15,25,40 years. But in every single family there is no definite scenario of life, and there is no sense to orient oneself to the numbers. Therefore, we will try to deal with the crises by events.
1-year life together
"Who are you? I do not know you! "Is the main phrase of this crisis, which begins after the wedding or after the decision to live together.
Reasons. It's no secret that before the wedding and after, people change a little, relax and start to finally be themselves. Meetings passed under the moon, flowers, restaurants, and begins a common life. And then suddenly it turns out that you have completely different concepts of living together. And instead of vacuuming every day carpet and take out in the mornings, going to work, garbage, the beloved husband prefers playing computer games or watching football with friends. A gentle wife, who promised to pamper her chosen one with homemade cakes, except for fried eggs and can not cook. It's clear that dissatisfaction with each other accumulates like a snowball, and happiness begins to crumble like a house of cards.
How to deal with this? Sit down and think, is it difficult to put up with the shortcomings of your half and pay attention to the dignity. For example, is it so difficult to remove his socks scattered all over the house and not scream at him for this, if he helps to remove from the table and washes dishes at will. And you can forgive her inability to cook, if she creates peace and comfort in the house.
Of course, there are qualities that are not at all like, and it is extremely difficult to reconcile with them. With this, there is nothing to be done and it is necessary to choose: either you leave, or live and forget about it forever. If you torture each other with claims, the family will not last long.
3 years of joint life
"Firstborn" - the crisis is associated with the first birth of a child in the family and is called the crisis of the third year.
Reasons. The birth of a child is associated with emotional and physical stress, both for mother and father. Wife is unhappy that her husband does not help her a lot, and her husband, in turn, gets angry from lack of attention to his person. If there is no sexual relationship between the pair, then discontent begins to turn into a riot.
How to deal with this? We need to give each other more attention and time. Do not forget that you love each other, do not transfer all the love to the child. There are also grandmothers, aunts, godparents - give them the opportunity to pay attention to the baby. At this time, go to the movies, cafes or watch football, in general, do something nice for each other.
7 years of joint life
"Routine" is a crisis of seven years of relations.
Reasons. H all ado! Life, children, work - all in a circle. No emotional outbursts.
How to deal with this? You should go on vacation, go to another country - change the situation, finally. You can sign up for a dance or a gym together, go skating or roller-skating, in general, do something that you have not done or have never done. Everything that goes beyond the scope of your daily duties will be beneficial.
15 years of joint life
"The crisis of middle age" - usually happens in those who are "over forty" - this is about 15 years of living together.
Reasons. There comes a time of revaluation of values. Begin to torment the questions: "Is everything right in my life?" And it seems that time runs inexorably fast, and suddenly you need to change something, and there will be no other chance. More men suffer from this crisis and start to do the most unexpected things. For example, they start fleeting intrigues, jump with a parachute, leave the family - all in order to prove to himself that he is still somewhere and quite old. Well, that, that the children in the institute, he, perhaps, only begins to live. In this case, the man is moved by the fear of becoming unnecessary for his family.
How to deal with this? Do not be afraid to tell your husband that you need him, that you appreciate him and love him very much. Give him attention, give nice gifts, and not socks with cowards for all holidays.
25 years of joint life
"Syndrome of an empty nest" - a crisis of parents when their children leave the family. About 25 years of life together.
Reasons. Children have grown up, they now have their own family, and parents need them from time to time. And you suddenly realize that life has lost its meaning, and it seems that your family has not associated anything other than children.
How to deal with this? Find a new meaning - store it on the house, buy a dacha. You have lived together for so many years, so many unite you. Remember your shared dreams of youth and begin to implement them.
40 years of joint life
Retirement is a crisis of loneliness, around the forties of family life.
Reasons. At first retirement is waiting with impatience, and when, finally, this long-awaited moment comes, a person suddenly gets lost, feels unwell, he has nothing to do, there is no need to live.
How to deal with this? It is necessary to find an occupation that distracts from painful thoughts. You need to get carried away with something that likes and benefits the rest of the family. Do what you want, what before there was not enough time or effort. And go together, finally, to the wedding round-the-world trip - because you deserve it.