Theft

In early childhood often take other people's things. Children between the ages of one to three take things that are not theirs, but it's not stealing. They do not have a clear consciousness of what belongs to them, and what does not belong to them. They take things simply because they really want them. Do not shame or scold them for it, the mother just has to tell the child that Peter's toy, that Peter will also want to play it soon and that he has a lot of good toys at home.

What does stealing mean in a more conscious age. Theft, which is much more serious, occurs between seven years and adolescence. When a child at this age takes something, he knows that he is not doing well. He is inclined to take covertly, hide the stolen goods and categorically not admit that he did it.

When a mother or teacher discovers that a child has stolen something, they are usually very upset. The first impulse in this case is to pounce on the child and shame him. This desire is quite natural, since we have all been taught to consider stealing a serious misconduct. And we are frightened when our child steals.

It is important that the child clearly understand that the parents do not approve any theft and require an immediate return of the stolen goods. On the other hand, it is unreasonable to intimidate a child to death or behave as if you would never love him now.

Consider first a seven-year-old child who was raised by conscientious parents who have enough toys and other things and who gets pocket money. If he steals something, then probably a little money from his mother or classmates, or a teacher's pen, or a bundle of trade coupons from the locker of another student. Often, theft does not make any sense, because the child would have received these things if he wanted to. We see that the child has mixed feelings. He wants something very much and tries to satisfy his desire, taking a thing that he does not really need. But what does he really want?

In most cases, such a child is to some extent unhappy and lonely. He does not have warm relations with his parents, or he can not make friends among the children of his age.(He can feel these feelings, even if in fact he is very popular in the classroom.) I think that the most common cause of theft at the age of seven is the consciousness of being estranged from parents. Then, if the child does not succeed in establishing friendly relations with other children, he finds himself in no man's land and feels lonely. This explains why some children try to buy friendships for stolen money. One begins to give coins to classmates. Another buys for the whole class of sweets. And it's not just that the child departs from his parents at this age. Parents are excessively picky about children at an age when it is already difficult for them.

The onset of adolescence is another period when children are particularly lonely, as their self-awareness, sensitivity and desire for independence sharply increase.

In stealing at all ages, a certain role is probably played by dissatisfaction in love and affection, but individual factors, such as fears, jealousy, indignation, are also important. A girl who envies her brother can steal small items that she unconsciously associates with boys.

What should do with an child if it steals. If you are sure that your child( or student) stole something, tell him about it, find out where he stolen things, and achieve return. In other words, do not let him lie.(If the parent agrees too easily with lies, he seems to approve theft.) The child must return the stolen classmate or the store to where he took it. In the case of a store, it would be more tactful for the parent to first talk with the seller and explain that the child took the thing without paying, and wants to return it. The teacher can return the thing to the owner in order to protect the child from public shame. In other words, it is not necessary to demean the kidnapped child, you just need to let him understand very clearly that this can not be done.

In this case, you should think about whether the child is paying enough attention at home or he needs more love, affection and approval, and help him to make friends outside the family. It's time to give him pocket money in the same size as that of friends. This helps him realize that he is no worse than others. If the theft continues or if the child in other respects seems unconcerned with the environment, ask for help from a child psychiatrist.

The next type of theft is completely different. In some areas, children consider stealing a worthy act and proof of masculinity. This is bad, but it is not a vice and not a sign of inability to live. The child of conscious parents living in such an environment needs a serious and confidential conversation, but he should not be treated like a criminal if he participated in one of the adventures. He only obeyed a normal instinct, demanding that he take his place in the group. The medicine is to improve economic conditions, in the best schools and institutions for re-education.

Finally, aggressive children are being kidnapped, as are adults who have neither conscience nor sense of responsibility. Such a person becomes, when in childhood he did not know love and security. In this case, the hope is only for the help of an experienced psychiatrist and the opportunity to live with loving kind people.

-