Fear of strangers in children

Fear of strangers usually occurs between six and twelve months, when your once very sociable butterfly suddenly becomes shy. Although before the child enjoyed the game called "Hand-to-hand", now he settles down only on your hands. The child may even refuse to go to the hands of the closest acquaintances to whom he used to have warm feelings. This behavior is a normal, fast-paced development stage, in no way is either a reflection of your concern for the child, nor an indication of your child's sense of insecurity. In fact, some children who have the most reliable attachment with their parents can go through periods of fear of strangers, and then happily embrace strangers.

Your child sees you as the standard with which he compares any other person, and he evaluates any person according to your reaction. He sees strangers with your eyes. If your child needs help to communicate, that's how to help.

Gradual accustoming to a stranger. When a person approaches you, quickly greet him with a friendly smile and start a lively dialogue, but keep a distance. Give your child time and distance in order to appreciate a stranger and see your joyful face. Based on your reaction to a stranger, your child forms his opinion about him. If this person is good for you, he is good for your child. Imagine the third interlocutor according to all the rules: "Look, Aunt Nancy. She is good".Meanwhile, Aunt Nancy stands still and does not approach. Then you

gradually shorten the distance. When Aunt Nancy is inside the child's intimate space, take the child's hand and slap Aunt Nancy across her face, keeping her eyes on the child, so that by the language of his body determine when to move forward and when to step back. Introduce Aunt Nancy to her strategy so that she does not rush straight to the child. Especially grandmothers and grandfathers need to understand how important it is for a child to approach them gradually. This allows you to avoid insults or notations about the fact that you spoil the child. This same method helps kids to get acquainted with doctors.

In more difficult cases. If your child's fear of strangers is very strong, organize a less rapid acquaintance. Warn your girlfriend through what stage of development your child is going through. This is a question of a perfectly normal development of the child, and you do not need to apologize( "But in fact she is a good baby"), trying to smooth these first impressions. Suggest a stranger to start by talking to one of the child's favorite toys, for example, stroking and shaking a teddy bear in his arms or showing some completely new toy so that the child wants to approach a stranger and take a toy.

If, despite all your strategies, the liana wraps you up even more, place the child on your lap and interact lively with your girlfriend, giving the child the opportunity to join you when he ripens for it.