The choice of a nanny or a kindergarten( kindergarten)

After many mothers face the agonizing reality of combining the two quarries, the search for a replacement is followed.

Your options for

The first step for most mothers in this situation is to consider the options that are possible under their circumstances.

The arrival of a nanny at home. If your child is taken care of in your own home - this is preferable. The advantages of this option are a familiar environment, familiar toys, microorganisms, to which the child has already become accustomed to life, the lack of turmoil with transport, and the fact that the house is familiar to you. Usually the best option is to share care of the child with your spouse;then go to the grandmothers or next of kin. Other options, albeit more expensive, are a specially trained nanny, a girl who has come under the au pair program or a housekeeper with accommodation. But as soon as you step outside the boundaries of the inner family circle, relatives or close friends, endless searches begin.

Home care in turn. The option for part-time workers is to share care of the child with a girlfriend: "I will babysit yours, and you will nurse my two and a half days a week."Or on a different schedule, which you will work out yourself. This agreement gives you the advantage that you get a nanny with the same beliefs as you do, and, as in an enterprise in which employees participate in the profit, each of you is interested in giving the foreign child the level of care that awaits forhis own child. Ready-made candidates for such an arrangement are your girlfriends, whose birth and return to work are expected at the same time as you, as well as your friends for school preparation for childbirth.

Kindergarten at home. In this case, the child receives care in the home of another mother. As a rule, mothers arrange a kindergarten at home to supplement the family budget and to be at home with their own children. The same priorities in caring for the child, which prompted this mother to organize a kindergarten, can be transferred by her to caring for your child. You can be sure of this only if you know this woman well or have carefully studied her recommendations. But this option is not so ideal if the teacher has collected a lot of children herself, almost exceeding the maximum allowable amount, if she does not want to take ill children or can not provide them with proper care, or if she is not an attentive person. A golden rule: one nanny is usually able to provide care for one year-old child, two children aged two years, three at the age of three, and so on, given the number and age of her own children. These homes must have a license, and you should be able to see this license. Remember, licensing concerns only issues of safety and health - it does not guarantee solicitude. Determine this - your work.

Parent co-operatives. Four-one-five mothers of the same level agree to take care of each other's children in their own homes in turn. Since one mother is unable to manage more than two children for up to a year, the co-operative employs a full-time nanny to help her mother. Or, several equally-minded parents hire one or two nannies of high qualification with high pay, so that they come to one of their houses to look after the children.

Children's group in the workplace.

Corporations, interested in satisfying the interests of mothers working in them, offer caring for the child on the

working place. Find out if there is such an option for you. If your corporation does not offer this convenience, lobby.

Kindergartens. In , kindergartens( or nurseries) are not recommended for children under one year, because there are too many children in groups, too few staff and a high risk of transmission of infections at a time when the child is most vulnerable to them. In addition, it is difficult for personnel to provide the necessary attention one-on-one( for example, during feeding) to a six-month-old child, separating one-year-old fighters.

How to find a nanny

Before you set out to find a nanny, formulate the qualities you expect - not forgetting the fact that your clone does not exist. First, note that you want to find the replacement for the parent. Constant care is the least that you can offer your child. The same nanny, with the same attitudes as yours, is from the realm of ideals, yes;but you can start with this. Then refer to the following sources of information.

Friends. Let me know that you are looking for a nanny, to your friends who have the same settings as yours. They may know about free nannies, and the fact that they know your

approach to caring for a child will provide you with some preliminary selection.

Children's doctor. Pediatricians most often find a bulletin board with offers of nanny services. Ask your doctor if he knows this woman and will recommend it to you( although this does not eliminate the need to find out on her own what it is).Most likely, the doctor knows mothers who organized mini-kindergartens at home, and not those nannies who come to the house. Try to hang your own announcement about finding a nanny on your doctor's board.

Agencies. In these agencies you will be taught how to properly approach the search for quality care for the child. Here you will also be offered a list of licensed kindergartens at home and city childcare facilities.

Job interviews with jobseekers

For those of you who have to sift resume and conduct interviews in an attempt to decide who to entrust their precious child to. Here's how to make the decision-making process less discouraging and not to come to the fact that a carefully selected nanny turned out to be a completely different person for you.

Make a list. Before approaching the selection process, make a list of questions to which you need to hear answers( see the list below).Put the most important questions to the top so that if the answers prove unsatisfactory, you do not have to waste time reading out the entire list.

First, probe the soil. To save time and get rid of fruitless interviews, ask applicants to send you a summary and recommendations. From the senders choose those with whom you should talk on the phone. Start at the top of your list of questions and, getting an impression on the phone, either end the list, or politely complete the conversation. If you are indecisive, do everything to talk personally. Do not miss a good man. Telephone conversations, although they save time and help, can be confusing. Be on the alert if the person is reluctant to provide advice. A good nanny is just waiting for the moment when she will be asked for recommendations.

Your first impression. First by phone, then face to face clearly tell the possible nurse how you appreciate the work of the nanny and how important it is for you that she nurses your child the way you want it. But do not go into details, because you need to first find out her approach to caring for a child and only then state her own, if you do not want a nanny, like a parrot, just repeating for you what you want to hear. In addition to the usual questions - name, age, address, phone and so on - try asking the following sounding questions:

• What will you do when my baby cries? How will you calm him down? Based on your experience, what kind of child calming technique can you call the trigger for you best? What do you think about the threat of spoiling the child?(Asking these questions, try to talk a person about caring for the child, and listen and see if your views coincide.) Is it possible to call this woman deeply caring, sensitive and sympathetic?)

• What would you like to know about my child?(Try to feel how flexible it is.) If you have a child with high needs, will it be able to make a commitment to the needs of the child? You may need to offer higher fees for caring for such a child.)

• What do you think about thatto keep a child in your arms?

• What do you think is most important for a child of this age?(When you appreciate her caring and flexibility, now you are trying to understand if you can work with this person and trust him with your child.) Also, see how she behaves with your child during the interview. Do you think her behavior is natural orand how does your child react to it?)

It's time to go to the details:

• Why do you want to look after children?

• Tell me about your previous work. Why did you leave her?

• How will you play with my child during the day?

• How will you cope with my baby's feeding?(If you are breastfeeding, does she understand the importance of giving your baby your expressed breast milk?)

• How will you put my baby to bed?

• If my child is in a hysterical state, what will you do? How will you discipline him if he does not obey?

• What do you think can happen to it? What precautions will you take? Have you passed a cardiopulmonary intensive care course?(If yes, ask for an ID document, if not, ask if she will attend this course in her own time.)

• What will you do if my child chokes on a toy?(Ask this question to check her sabotage.)

• What can prevent you from arriving on time? Do you want to go far? Do you drive or use public transport?(Did she come to your meeting in time?) A suitable question is also to ask her recommendations.)

• Do you drive a car?(Ask this question only if the nurse is required.)

• Tell me about your previous experience of caring for a child.

• Do you have children yourself? How old are they?(Do you think that taking care of your own children can prevent her from coming to you to take care of your children? If she has school-age children, whose help can she use if she gets sick? If she has an infant or preschool childand she wants to take it with her, discuss this issue. Take a meeting with the child to see how they communicate and evaluate the temperament of her child. In addition, do you want your child to spend the day with this child?, that there will always be a problemchoice: her child is my child, and if her child goes through a period of increased needs at the same time as yours, guess who will get attention.)

• How long do you plan to work as a nanny?(A permanent nanny is important for your child to form an attachment.)

• Are you ready to do some housework?(Ideally, try to get a nanny from the

to do some household chores while the baby is asleep, which will give you more time to communicate with the child after returning from work.) But a woman who would take care of your baby and your homewould be in perfect condition, a rare finding.)

• What is the state of your health? What is the name of your therapist and can I find out from him when you passed the last physical examination? Do you smoke?(Smoking and children are incompatible.) Do you drink alcohol? How much and how often? Do you use other tonic?(Although you are unlikely to hear "yes" in response, try to feel with what calm or with what excitement a person answers these questions.)

Ask yourself if this woman is suitable for your child in terms of physical characteristics. Although decrepit old women, so calm and patient, can work miracles, rocking a three-month-old child all day long, they may not have the stamina to run after a two-year-old sorceress. During a conversation, pay attention to the manners of your companion and listen to your feelings towards her as a whole. Is it possible to call her kind, patient, compliant, affectionate;Do you feel her presence and behavior are contagious in the positive sense of the word? The main thing: is this the person to whom you would like

to be attached to your child?

If after the first interview you were disappointed, keep trying, without forgetting the importance of compliance. However, be prepared to make some concessions. You will quickly realize that the person you would like to find does not exist, and the demand for qualified and conscientious nurses far exceeds the supply. Keep this in mind when you start discussing payment.

Test period for nanny

After making your choice, arrange in advance for a probation period of several weeks to see if it suits your child and you. Here's how to determine this.

Use as a child's barometer. Be prepared for the initial change in the child's behavior for two reasons. Not only does he get used to the new situation, but you too. Sometimes the mother herself changes the behavior of the child more( she became more tired, busy, tense after a hard day's work).But in a week or two the child must return to his previous behavior. If he started to cling to you, became aggressive, dissatisfied, often wakes up or has a depressed look and does not sparkle with cheerfulness, he lacks something. Or this nanny does not suit him, or you should postpone your return to work at a later time.

Use the nurse as a barometer. Does she get the pleasure of communicating with your child? Or are you coming home to meet an exhausted, irritable, tense person who can not wait until he gets rid of this burden? This is an alarm.(Fatigue after taking care of a child for a whole day should sometimes be considered normal.) If, on the contrary, they are right for each other with the child, you can sleep calmer.

Look for signs of good care.

In addition to the emotional state of the child, is there evidence of good care? For example, is diapers changing frequently enough? Does the ass have a child's diaper rash and a smell that was not there before the babysitter arrived? In truth, this can be a coincidence and can be caused by teething, changes in diet or diarrhea.

Make sudden checks.

From time to time, return from work earlier without warning or come to lunch during the break. If you have a child with high needs, who needs to be kept as much

as possible, how often does the nurse leave him crying? In the absence of a hidden video camera or recorder, unexpected checks will tell you a lot. You should not become paranoid, nor be full of shit - eventually a nanny will earn your trust and these checks will not be so necessary. But continuing from time to time unexpectedly to look home, you thereby emphasize that you expect from her work on conscience.

Ask to see neighbors and acquaintances. Tell friends and neighbors about their situation and ask them to tell you what is causing them anxiety. If your nanny walks with the child to the park so that he can play with other children, ask the opinion of other mothers.

strangers, it is best to "warm up" it gradually( tips on how to present unfamiliar people to a child).Do not forget to put on your most friendly face, cheering with this new friend. If a new friend likes you, he likes your child. It's also time to see the nanny in action. You can always change your mind. If the first impressions are favorable, let the nurse get involved in caring for the child gradually, as you will gradually get involved in your work.

It's best not to start immediately with eight-hour work days and forty-hour workweeks. First leave the baby for small periods, ideally between the feedings, and gradually extend these periods. To work you better return on Wednesday or Thursday to reduce the severity of separation.

Imagine a nanny

It's not fair to a nanny or a child, to leave them two, without really introducing them. Before you return to work, arrange for the nanny to spend some time with you and your child. This gradual acquaintance has several purposes: it helps the child to get used to the nanny, it helps the nurse get acquainted with the child, and it allows you to show the nurse how you would like to take care of your child. Especially if the child has a period of fear

Although it is not recommended to give babies to the group, there are cases when this is the only reasonable way for working parents. Here are a few ways to extract from this situation everything possible.

Choosing a kindergarten

Kindergarten teachers deserve the respect that we give to teachers. They are larger than

baby sitters with pigtails and chewing gums. These are people who replace the child with their parents. Read what a real kindergarten should be, and look for one, instead of agreeing to a mediocre. Your child will be the winner. Here are some tips to help you make the right choice.

• Spend some time in the kindergarten, watching how educators and children communicate. Find out who will mainly look after your child. Look at how she treats the children entrusted to her. What disciplinary methods does it apply? When they cry, how does it soothe them? Is she sensitive? Does it provide eye contact for children? Does she touch them and take them in her arms? Does she like brisk conversation? Do you think she enjoys communicating with children? Is she able to adjust to the ever-changing mood of some children between the ages of one and two? Does she have a sense of humor? Also, among other things, pay attention to how children treat caregivers and nannies. Watching the interaction of employees and children, you will feel whether there is a real connection between them.

• Learn about the quantitative ratio of employees and children. The golden rule, which we mentioned earlier, for kindergartens at home( one year old child, two two-year-olds, and so on), children's pre-school institutions is not suitable. Maximum of one teacher should be no more than four children.

• Ask to look at the license to make sure that it is not overdue.

• Ask about the qualifications of employees.

• Find out the philosophy of this garden. Ask the basic questions, such as: "What will you do if my child cries? What do you think about the fact that you can spoil the child? "

• Go around the premises. Is it pure in them? Is the equipment safe? Do toys match age?

• Ask what their policy is regarding sick children;what they take, what they do not. Follow the hygiene procedures. Do employees clean their hands after changing diapers, do they divide the room into diapers intended for changing and intended for feeding, do they sanitize toys, if necessary, and prevent children from changing bottles, pacifiers and other personal items?

• Did all staff undergo cardiopulmonary resuscitation? Ask them to show their IDs. Do they have an evacuation plan for natural disasters and emergency situations such as fire?

• Look into the kindergarten at a time when other parents bring their children or take them. Ask what they think about this garden.

• Finally, are you pleased to be in this place?

Do not feel like pressing on the administration of kindergarten, asking these questions. The industry we trust in the future of our country must have high standards and willingly demonstrate them. If the only kindergarten available has failed on these issues, seriously think about applying for social benefits and staying at home with your child until you can find a suitable institution.

The child is too sick to send it to the kindergarten. How to determine?

The clock is seven in the morning, the hour of home bustle. The teapot whistles, bread jumps out of the toaster, and traffic reports again do not promise anything good. And now a mournful whimper is heard that will turn your already frenetic day upside down. You automatically put your hand on the child's forehead."Oh no, he has a fever!" To lead or not to lead, that is the question. You suddenly realize that it is not so easy to change plans with one touch to the forehead.

How much should the child be sick in order to be sick enough to miss a kindergarten? This decision affects three sides: does your child feel too sick to go to the kindergarten? Could he infect other children? Is it uncomfortable for you to take one day off? Here are some practical guidelines for the most contagious diseases.

Diarrhea( diarrhea)

Called by microorganisms, according to all doctors, very contagious. Frequent, watery, slimy and sometimes bloody stools is an accurate indication to stay at home, for your child's sake, and for the purpose of preventing an epidemic in the kindergarten. Add vomiting here - as the parents say,

flows Advice for the garden

Create rituals for those moments when you leave the child in the kindergarten and take him home to make this transition less dramatic for young children. A special "recharging with hugs and kisses" before your departure and at your return will reduce the fear of separation. Do not forget also that a child immersed in the game, it is difficult to throw everything at the moment when the mother enters. Join for a short time to the idea of ​​your child, show interest in what he does, and gradually complete the game.

at two ends - and your child is definitely too weak and too discouraged to leave the house. As soon as vomiting has stopped, the chair has ceased to be gushing and liquid and your child has felt better, he can return to the kindergarten. Be prepared for the fact that the stool will continue to be frequent and not hard enough for several more weeks, as the intestine usually recovers slowly. In the period of convalescence( recovery) your child is not contagious.

Cold and Fever

While diarrhea deserves quarantine, respiratory diseases and febrile conditions( elevated body temperature) are caused by a completely different set of microorganisms. Most microorganisms causing a cold do not carry the threat of an epidemic in a children's institution to the same extent as microorganisms that cause diarrhea. Studies on school-age children have shown that if isolating sick children, this does not reduce the spread of colds;if you take children with colds to school, the spread of the disease does not increase( the period in which the child is contagious, in different cases, different, and the children are most infectious about a day or two before they have symptoms of malaise).When you send your two-year-old child to a kindergarten with a cold, this is the very time

teach him not to share his things. Show him how to cover his nose and mouth with a handkerchief, when he sneezes or coughs, and tell him what it is that needs to turn his head away from others.

Two-year-olds may be able to learn these hygienic gestures, but most often they are forgotten. If your child has a fever( constantly holding at least 38.3 degrees), it is better to be more careful and leave the baby at home until you find out from the doctor if the disease is contagious.

Sore throat

Sore throat, especially against the background of high fever and rashes in the area of ​​throat( for example, with her-pangina), indicates a very contagious disease and should be perceived as a red light for a trip to the kindergarten, while fever and rashesin the throat will not pass - usually it takes five days.

Discharge from the eyes

The nose is not the only place where the baby flows when it gets cold. Discharges from the eyes are usually associated with an already existing cold, especially with sinusitis, ie, inflammation of the sinuses of the nose( sinusitis, etc.).Tearing and festering eyes are not contagious, as is usually not infectious, and the child himself. However, these paste-like discharge from the eyes deserve a visit to the doctor.

Sometimes the secretions from the eyes are caused by conjunctivitis, a contagious infection, noticing that the caretakers will rush to the phone to call you to come and take your child. If, in addition to secretions, redness of the eyes is noted, this is definitely a very easily transmitted conjunctivitis, which is quickly treated and ceases to be contagious when using ophthalmic ointment with antibiotics or drops. A child can go to the kindergarten from the moment the treatment is started. If the eyes are not reddened, it is most likely not conjunctivitis, and you can safely guide your child to the kindergarten.

ARI or allergy?

In kindergartens, often send home coughing, sneezing children, suspecting they have a cold when it is actually an allergy that is not dangerous to other children and represents nothing more than a minor inconvenience to the child. How to distinguish allergy from colds? Again, everyone will tell nasal discharge. With allergies from the nose, it flows and drips, the liquid is clear and watery, and there are also other signs of allergy: watery eyes, wheezing;and besides, for himself says the fact that the child has already been recorded allergies and that now is the height of the season of hay fever( pollinosis).Discharge from the nose with colds is too thick to flow. They hang under the nose. In addition to

addition, with a cold there are other signs of an infectious disease, such as fever. In general, allergic children make a lot of noise( sneezing and breathing hoarsely), but do not behave like sick. They can attend a children's institution and do not pose a danger to surrounding children. Children with catarrhal diseases behave sluggishly, they are depressed or moody and can infect surrounding people.

Cough

Colds pass, but cough after some of them keeps for a long time, not letting children into kindergarten, and parents to work. But not every cough is a disease that automatically prescribes the home regime. A dry cough that does not wake a child and is not accompanied by fever, pain, shortness of breath or other signs of colds, is not an excuse for isolating a child. Cough of this type, which is no more than discomfort, is observed for weeks, rarely carries the threat of infection, and even more rarely worries the child or his playmates, who themselves may be coughing up. Sometimes the child strongly coughs at night and thus it seems a perfectly healthy day, with the exception of the tiring sounds of the cleared throat;For the season of allergy, he may have seen

several similar periods. This child suffers from nasopharyngeal mucus secretions, it is not contagious, and this can rarely be considered a reason for missing a kindergarten.

Of course, any cough accompanied by fever, chills and separation of greenish or yellowish mucus deserves the attention of the doctor and the admission of the kindergarten. Your child can return to a childcare institution when the temperature drops and he feels better( usually three to four days), although the cough itself may remain for another week or two.

Rash

The problem with the rash is that the kindergarten teacher sees it and sends the child home. But not all rashes are contagious or cause the child so much discomfort to not go to the kindergarten.

Impetigo. Inflammation of the skin caused by bacteria, impetigo begins with small red dots resembling thorny pimples that grow into coarse-sized blisters and then open and a sticky honey-colored crust emerges on their surface, from under which the liquid oozes. These round spots can be the size of a coin or more. Usually they are formed on the sites that the child combs, for example, under the nose and on the butt, but can be on the surface of the skin in any place. From scratching, the affected areas expand. You can lubricate the inflamed area with a prescription of ointment with antibiotics, seal it with a band-aid and send the child to the kindergarten. In more severe cases, oral antibiotics and prolonged stay at home may be required.

Dermatomycosis. It is a rash in the form of round spots with red, raised above the surface of the surrounding skin of the edges, dermatomycosis is caused by the fungus and is even less contagious( infectious) than impetigo. Cover the entire affected area of ​​the over-the-counter antifungal ointment( or, if necessary, the prescription ointment) and collect the baby in the kindergarten.

Chicken pox. Unlike the rashes, discussed above, chickenpox is one of the most contagious childhood diseases, and this is an explicit indication to stay at home. Chickenpox begins as a flu( a slight increase in temperature and rapid fatigue), and spots usually appear only the next day. At first they look like small traces of insect bites on the back, chest, abdomen and face. Under the door of my office by nine in the morning

is often going to a group of parents wondering if these "spots" can not be the beginning of chickenpox. I announce to them the verdict "sweating" or "flea bites" and send the spotted child to the kindergarten.

If you are not sure what those spots are on your child's body, circle a few of them with a felt-tip pen;for a day they will grow from tiny blisters to blisters if it is chicken pox and new spots will appear. In a few days, what was at first stained, will be covered with crusts. The child can return to the children's institution as soon as all the spots are covered with crusts, about a week after the appearance of the first of them.

Lice. Where there are large concentrations of children in a small area, wait for small parasites. A typical situation: you are called to work or sent from the kindergarten home with a note informing you that he has lice. Your first reaction is confusion( "But my house is so clean!"), Which is replaced by a misunderstanding( "Will she have to miss the kindergarten, but my work, and all because of some lousy louse?")

So what's the matteris it all the same? First, lice are not a reflection of cleanliness and order in your home. They live in warm places with a large crowd of people, such as classrooms or groups in kindergartens, where they can easily jump from head to toe when children are in close communion. Lice do not tolerate diseases and are more annoying trouble than a medical problem. They sit deep in the hair, more often near the back of the neck and behind the ears. In gratitude for a warm, soft place to live, they usually do not bother the owner, except that they cause irritating itching and become an excuse for isolating the child, which is so inappropriate for you.

It's difficult to see lice themselves( they are tiny, light brown, they can sometimes be seen through a magnifying glass), but you can find whitish nits( eggs) attached to the bases of individual hairs. From dandruff, you can distinguish nits on the grounds that they are round and stick to the shaft of the hair, while dandruff is flat flakes that easily crumble.

If you have seen nits, you do not need to immediately share your discovery with your doctor. Lip non-prescription shampoo from lice( follow the instructions on the package) and a special frequent comb for combing the nits - this is enough for evening treatment at home. The next morning your child can return to the kindergarten, but be prepared for the teacher to go over every hair in search of nits and call you to ask you to pick up the baby if at least one egg is found.

When it's worth staying at home with a cold

If the discharge from your child's nose is transparent and water-like, your child feels wonderful and plays with no pain, and the temperature is kept low( no higher than 37.8 degrees), there is no need to leave the child at home. If the discharge from the nose becomes more dense, yellow and green, especially against a background of high fever, earaches, frequent nocturnal awakenings, or in a child, a morbid condition - this catarrhal disease requires leaving the child at home and calling a doctor. Your child may have ear inflammation or sinusitis.

Before you rush to change your whole day, here is the secret of nasal secretions: the liquid that emerges from the nose is always thicker in the morning, on awakening, as it managed to stagnate and dry overnight. In order to make it easier to assess the situation, drop a few drops of salt into each nostril scored in the child and ask him to gently blow your nose or remove the discharge with a nasal aspirator. If the remaining secretions are transparent and your baby is now breathing easier, you can breathe more easily yourself, since the child can be sent to the kindergarten.