Sharp heart only

Between the mother and the child is a bloody, indissoluble bond, conditioned by Nature itself. Why is this thread so often torn, why does the closest beings experience misunderstanding, alienation, or even hostility? Perhaps, today mothers forget that to understand the child's soul, it is impossible to show genuine concern for the child without the cost of spiritual strength, self-denial, self-sacrifice. This is the work of the soul.

"Sharp heart only. The most important thing you will not see. "These words from the "Little Prince" by A. Saint-Exupery, in our view, express the essence of maternal love.

Let me ask you the question: "Do you love your child?" Surely most readers will be puzzled, and some will even offend: how can you not love your own child!

And now let's try to talk together specifically: in what way does your love for the child manifest itself? How can you prove its existence,? What will you refer to your arguments and impressions or the assessments and conditions of the child? What facts will you operate - from the past, when the baby was still completely helpless, or from the present, when he became completely independent? With what, in the main, do you connect your feelings to the child - with the satisfaction of his vital needs or with the care of his spiritual world?

Maternal love is manyfold. She is implicated in biological desires by a willing woman, and manifests her readiness to patronize, protect, protect, satisfy any needs of her child. The mother subordinates himself to himself, sacrifices his personal life, career, agrees to endure humiliation and be dependent. It would seem that there is no more sincere love than this, instinctive. However, a blind feeling usually leads to the formation of the child's selfishness, and, having become large, he often pays his parents ingratitude.

Another mother's unconscious attachment adds an intuitive sense of the entire child's being. There was a child born, and a feeling of indissolubility with him, blood and spiritual unity arose. Whatever the child - healthy or sick, lucky or unsuccessful, grateful or meek, whatever he does in life, a woman empathizes with him wholeheartedly, accepts what he is, is always able to understand and justify it. In joy and sorrow she repeats to herself: "My blood, my flesh."This is the essence of psychological parenting, in which the feelings of biological kinship and aggravated intuition are mixed, replacing the mind and the psychological-pedagogical document.

There are women who experience a selfish feeling for children. They love them not for what they are, but for what they are, what they want to see - obedient, orderly, sympathetic, gifted, and most importantly - comfortable and problem-free. And when, due to some circumstances, the child ceases to be "right", the mother is disappointed in him, dramatically experiencing the collapse of her hopes.

Sometimes a mother loves a child for loving her. She is looking for childlike affection, adoration, affection. And if the child is indifferent, cold, tearful, moody, disobedient, this is angry woman, is proof that the child is bad, not worthy of special attention.

Some mothers have a social love for the child. In a son or daughter they want to see a person capable, erudite, talented, that is, one that can be proud of. In the future, he must become famous, reach significant heights. This is aimed at education, for the sake of this child is given to a special school, forced to read, teach music, drive to museums and theaters. And if it so happens that later it does not justify parental expectations, disappointment, equivalent to the betrayal of the native being, may well arise.

And there are women who are just counted as mothers. They are mostly occupied with themselves or live without worries and problems, seized by the routine of everyday life, except that they do not pay for childlessness.

Biological, psychological, selfish, socially defined, formal love for children - these are just some variations of maternal feelings. There are other shades of their manifestation. Often a woman does not realize the nature of her attitude toward her son or daughter, it is difficult for her to understand why she treats the child in this way, and not otherwise.

So, dear readers, we are discussing mother's love.

The mother remains the mother always. The child grows, grows up - now he is a teenager, a young man, he has children himself, and his mother still worries about him, cares, bothers. .. Every age has its own difficulties, its problems, and the woman must take this into account, if he wishes to be a friend to his son or daughter, to maintain good relations with children throughout his life. The basis of this friendship, of these relations, of course, is laid, barely a child was born. It is about this period - the period of infancy and childhood, as well as about the peculiarities of the behavior of the mother woman - that we want to talk about in more detail. In the course of the conversation, we will have to turn to men, because the father takes part in the upbringing of the child along with the mother. It is not always possible to demarcate their functions, and should it be done?. .