Do not corner
Figuratively speaking, it is very important not to corner the child. Making comments, it is necessary to watch not only the intonation of the voice but also the fact with which specific words you refer to your son or daughter. Unfortunately, more often than not, epithets are used, emphasizing the existence of a formed character: a slob, a stupid, a liar. .. Subconsciously the child understands - since mom thinks so, then try to become better, honestly there is no possibility.
It's more correct not to give children generalized characteristics, either positive or negative. Although moderately positive are still permissible( you are a good boy, you are a clever girl).But to evaluate the act must immediately. H say something like this: "Why did you mess up? Now let's remove. .. ";"But after all, you are telling lies, but now tell me how it really was?"
The above examples show the main difference between the traditional estimate and the recommended one - in the latter case, there is always an opportunity for correction. You give the child confidence, raise it to a higher level. .. It does not happen that such an attitude does not cause a reciprocal response in his soul.
Children should not be "cornered" in situations where this or that behavior is conditioned by constitutional features. Even the ancients divided all people into four categories - choleric, sanguine, phlegmatic and melancholic. Today in the scientific literature other terms are used to denote types of higher nervous activity: strong balanced, strong unbalanced, etc. These types exist objectively, whether we like it or not, but we ourselves and our children belong to one of them. Therefore, some of us are too stubborn, others are explosive-quick-tempered, the third eye has a wet place. And to tease the son for the fact that he is extremely sensitive and can cry for anything, is unacceptable - he is not to blame for this.
But especially the negative effect on children is the upbringing of bedwetting at night. Children, as a rule, are boys, and without the reproaches and punishments of parents, they suffer this lack of their own. And parents are perplexed: "I punish him every morning, but he still pisses himself in bed," is a typical complaint of the mother at a pediatrician's reception. And when you say to such a mother that it is not "all the same", but more often "because of this" - many do not believe."Well, he, it's hard to ask to go to the toilet?" - and if it's not difficult, it means that he urinates on purpose, spitefully.
If moms could put themselves in the place of a child, they would understand - do not punish the son, but caress, not to remind of this weakness, but to distract his attention in all available ways. Together with the restriction of the liquid in the evening, with a piece of herring or dried fish for dinner( salt keeps water in the tissues and to some extent reduces the filling of the bladder), distraction is the real way to combat this "sin".
The mechanisms of the occurrence of night urinary incontinence can be different - from an anatomical defect in the area of the spinal cord to a purely psychogenic one. The latter is most common. And this is what happens. After one or two such cases( with which of the children does not happen!), Parents begin to vigorously remind, and even scold, and punish their son. The child himself wants to wake up dry, but due to the fact that he constantly thinks about it, there comes a paradoxical reaction - incontinence cases become more frequent. Because in the brain a dominant is formed, a focus of excitement. He prevents a child from falling asleep. The boy is painfully waiting - when he wants to urinate, so as not to miss this moment. But fatigue takes its toll - he falls asleep. .. And then, just at the very moment of falling asleep, he has a dream( and what's strange about that, because he only thought about it), that he is already in the toilet, that you can, at lastSo, relax and. ..