How to resist criticism of your approach to the child

Hardly having become a parent, be prepared to receive soft( and not so soft) hints from the benevolent advisors that their approach is better than yours. The probability of this is especially great if you are lucky enough to have a child with high needs. You can feel as if, criticizing your approach to the child, they attack you as a person. Here are a few ways to cope with disapproval.

. Nothing divides friends as much as the difference in opinion regarding the approach to the child. Surround yourself with like-minded parents - the best way to avoid criticism. Be sure. Confidence is contagious. When the adviser is ready to attack you, exude persuasiveness.("It suits us.") Think about why. An attachment-built approach to caring for a child can pose a threat to a person who believes otherwise. You can create a sense of guilt in them. They would like to have the courage to follow their instincts like you. Respect your parents. Most of the disapproval of statements, most likely, will come from your parents or relatives from the side of your husband. Do not forget, they grew up in an era when some parents were afraid not to "spoil" the child, and trusted the experts more than they did to themselves. Recognize that times and professionals change. Agree that at another time and in another place, you might have used a different approach yourself. Tell them that you seem to have grown up a good person! Assure them that your "new, radical methods" are in fact old, proven and confirmed by time. Grandmother was given an attempt - now it's your turn. To make grandparents your allies, focus their attention on the issues on which your opinion almost coincides. Try to understand the feelings of your parents. Every time you act with your child differently than they did in their time, they can understand by this that you raise your child better than they raised you.

Protect your child. Most people do not understand a child with high needs. For them, a child who needs to be constantly on hand, simply spoiled. Perhaps you will have to enlighten people a little. But try not to make an impression that you think your approach is the only one, and their approach is wrong. Convince your opponent that you respect his approach to raising children, if he gives positive results, and ask to respect your approach, because he also gives you positive results.

Do not show yourself off. To start a discussion of the Big Three( organization, prolonged breastfeeding and sleeping with the child) is like waving a red flag in front of people with a different point of view. Emphasize that the approach to child-rearing is

's personal business, and do not impose your belief that one approach can be better than another in any circumstances. If you have achieved a healthy balance in all aspects of loving care for the child, the ease with which you fulfill your parental responsibilities and the behavior of your children will be your best arguments. Do the scapegoat "doctor".Sometimes it makes sense to take a hit from yourself and point out that you read a lot about the approach to the child who was chosen and that the modern

will be sensitive to these needs, it can affect the child's level of anxiety and then into positive orThe exact character of their child will be transformed into negative features of the individual. Children need to have a central figure to organize their behavior, to which they feel affection;this person is usually a mother. Without this organizing influence, the child remains unorganized, and as a result you have fussy behavior. This means that we need to change our point of view and treat not newborns as individuals, but the relationship between mother and child as a whole. In some children with high needs, fits of cranky behavior, commonly referred to as colic, are withdrawal symptoms,

studies support what you are doing. You can also add: "Our doctor said that in our family situation, taking into account the temperament of our child, this approach will be the best for us."In some cases, you may have to give out for your "doctor" information obtained in this book. But do not dumbfound people, casting their quotes from a variety of literature, because then you can begin to criticize that you all do according to the books.

arising due to the loss of regulatory influence of the main organizer - the mother.