Mature marriages

Oo, love all ages are submissive. .. And we add that sometimes people do not love at the age that most people sanction. Well, the love of a fully grown-up uncle and thirteen-year-old nymphet has already been written very well by Vladimir Nabokov in the novel "Lolita," and I can not reach him, no matter how much I improve in writing skills. About the youth's love for the old and completely ugly lady, I was better written by Lion Feuchtwanger in the novel "The Ugly Duchess."Both there and there are tragic stories. And to me, as I have defined myself, it is necessary to understand plots of ordinary and at least in more frequent of less frequent.

The most common variant of the age ratio, of course, is this: approximately the same age, but still older than SHE, within a dozen years. Slightly less than 0% of marriages - the older the wife. In these incomplete 0% is our follower of the ugly Swiss duchess Margaret Maultash - a well-known pop singer. So famous that it is simply superfluous to give her name and surname. But about the difference in age I will say: it's the same somewhere. Her marriage with the singer, who later became no less famous, stirred up our entire multinational country.

And here I can not remember the "hero and heroine"( it was in the early nineties) one program in the TV program "Theme" I just can not, because I participated in it as an expert on the podium. Here it is necessary to stop and soak. There are experts in telecasts commenting on the events from the first row. And there are experts on the podium. So, one day( the transfer was still led by Leaf), I was invited to the "Theme" and the usadilits only in the first row. And my friend Alexander Moiseevich Poleev. - on the podium. And although very famous and prestigious Yining was sitting next to me, he was even Arkady( like me), I was uneasy: Fields are on the podium, and I'm only in the first row, although near to Inin. At us, at psychologists and psychotherapists, too pride - to burn to us in an infernal flame. And so, when the editor of The Theme, Oksana Naychuk, called me and said that had different matrimonial marriages of , please, please, I immediately resent her: what, they say, will be like last time at Listyeva, I'll be in the front row, and Poleyev - on the podium?

- Netnet, you, Arkady Petrovich, you are on the podium, and Poleyev is in the front row.

I said, "Okay."And he was sitting on the podium, while Poleyev was sitting in the first row of the

. Well, for the sake of a joke, I told all this, of course;I then performed many times in different TV shows and on the podium, and in the front row, with Polevoy, and with other experts, and all alone. I have no ambitions in this regard.

That "theme" was led by "a lady aged, but with a fan" Lydia Ivanova. Next to me( on the podium) sat a young, somewhere around thirty years old, "composer" singer. Yes, quotation marks: wrote songs, not symphonies. And his wife is over his age by thirty, obviously not a duchess, but certainly similar to Margaret's

Maultash. As it turns out, his producer. He highly praised her, spoke about her extraordinary spiritual qualities. ..

I did not begin to conduct a real psychological analysis, for which it is not necessary to be not only a psychoanalyst, but even just a psychologist: the capital producer and the Rastignac of Mtsensk. But a TV show is a game in which there are their "decorum": even if there is no mask on the face, there is a sincere masquerade. Why then the noise. .. This is not yet specializing in the scandals "Windows", but only "Theme."Therefore, I moved the arrows from psychological analysis to psychoanalysis and did not fail to enlighten the viewers about the Oedipus complex( unconscious attraction of the son to the mother) from the telescreen. And Poleyev also translated the arrows, but not psychoanalysis, but psycho-physiological sexology. He explained everything by the similarity of the sexual temperament of a young man and an elderly woman. With a young woman is the trouble. If HE did not bring potatoes, then she will refuse. I then said that it was written in my article "Sexology removes prohibitions" in the collection "Popular Psychology for Parents": the garbage can not be taken out - there will not be a sexual act. A Poleev said that, they say, that a garbage can, or a potato. I said that yes, there is a difference, but it is small. With Poleyev, we did not quarrel, on the contrary, our mutual understanding was strengthened.,

For the composer of the singer and the wife of the producer, that show was, naturally, a significant advertisement - they are still little known. But for Lydia Ivanova, the transmission of an idle time was fatal. After a short time she found herself an 8-year-old, and this was the event of the month, I do not remember which, but EVENT.Feuchtwanger's Duchess Maultash, probably, turned over in a coffin with envy. On the box, all this was discussed, and Lydia Ivanova was now in the spotlight. However, I would not have dared to comment on this either from the podium or from the First row.

I do not blame anything, except for violence and deliberate deception. Such marriages also happen and, probably, have the right to exist.

More frequent of less frequent are marriages where the husband is much older. Do not hide his age difference between himself and his wife, composer Vladimir Shainsky, never parting with us: turn on the radio, then another sad melody of a song reminds us of the sunny world in which the

lives and two of its children are developing perfectly. Almost the first of such brave ones said about himself, his wife and son is always smiling Oleg Tabakov. The famous writer Leonid Zhukhovitsky's daughter is about seven years old( his wife is not yet thirty), despite the fact that he is about seventy. A year ago in the program "What does a woman want?" I commented on the marriage of Anna and Vladimir as an expert( from the first row).He is 26, he is 66. They are waiting for the second child. History and tragic. Anya was in love with Vladimir's son, pop singer Igor Sorin( from the group "Ivanushkiinternalshn"), who committed suicide. In this regard, she came to the house to the parents of an idol and. .. remained with his father( poet and artist)."The ways of the Lord are inscrutable," and "Judge not, that ye be not judged."

It is quite obvious that in all these cases young women have fallen for elderly men, socially significant, and not just good earners. I repeat my aphorism: a woman should be "conquered" by a person, not by cash. These most frequent of the least frequent cases are discussed with less conviction than marriages of young men with peak ladies( with or without a fan).Therefore, probably, there are more such marriages. But if I have a face and slipped a bad smile, then I apologize. Let here, too, "Do not judge - yes you will not be judged."Especially since I myself do not confess celibacy, but I am in the mirror of public morality - insolent, and only.

But I'll try to justify myself. I'm not an example of the older( Tabakov, Shainsky and Zhukhovitsky) stimulated. When I was alone in my 55 years after a far from first marriage, I was not looking for a young woman. But all commensurate in age decent were attached( already or more).Well, did I have to give up the happiness that rock gave to me in my 57?Lena was 9 when we met. I called her to the club "Little Prince", where I studied with students of psychologists. These were not normative compulsory studies, but additional voluntary ones. Those who went to them, frankly respected me. Lena became friends with some of them( and, with some of them, this friendship continues to this day).A woman must be conquered by a person, not by cash. And my age for Lena was not a minus. Two more courses she studied at the Faculty of Economics, a month spent formalities in the local registry office. A year later, Katya was born( the beginning of 200 years - so Katya is the same age as the 20th century).It is now the main thing in our love

vie, the main topic of conversations, cares of hassle, sometimes unprincipled discrepancies. Lena always liked the village more than the coastal towns of the resort of Sochi. So coincided that I - more. So What here is my high assessment of Lena's intelligence is adequate. It should be noted that for two years she taught in the seven seventh grades the material "Labyrinths of Thinking", even for students of the teacher training Universities. And she also liked this creative work with me. And our creativity for the creation of the personality in the person of our Katya is even greater.

They say( it should be checked) that a couple with a big age difference between an older husband and a young wife is talented. I do not know. Katya, at least, I am satisfied with everything. She will be devoted to many more pages.

But now I will pay attention only to one circumstance, which is obviously important for many people, which is not usually mentioned in the popular science literature.