Who is who in life?

Our goal is to try to find out what to do in order to become happy themselves and, if possible, to give happiness to our loved ones, native people, and if we take it more broadly, then all those with whom life in some way or another confronts us.

But first we have to find out: what do we mean by this word - "happiness"."Happiness for everyone is not the same" - is sung in a once popular song. If you listen to conversations around, then you can really get confused, be perplexed, what is it? Some say:

- Here happiness has come: it won the lottery.

Another says:

- Lucky my friend: his wife has a treasure. Good, clever and all-time handyman.

The third sigh:

- I do not have happiness: every time I take out a ticket on exams, for which I do not know anything.

The fourth with dignity concludes a long series of years:

- I can not complain about fate: I went to work as home, and home - as a holiday.

The hero of the film "We'll Live To Monday", wrote in the essay: "Happiness is when you are understood."

Well, do we go through all sorts of options of happiness without end? We are stuck in the analysis of various human destinies and stories, but all of them can prove to be unfit for a particular person. So we have to find, so to speak, a universal model. And here the most suitable is the formula that connects the last two options: "Happiness, when you are understood( loved and appreciated) at work and at home."What can be more important and more valuable than understanding, sympathy, willingness to share with you misfortune and luck, to support you in the best strivings, in your affairs and entertainments? What can be more valuable than consciousness: you need, you need other people, without you their life - not in life?

The very word "happiness" suggests this answer. After all, in ancient times it sounded differently: happiness, that is, your complicity in the affairs, troubles and joys of other people, and these - others - in your own worries, labors and successes. However, you will agree that in order to achieve such complicity, you need, at least, to understand yourself. Without this, all sorts of misunderstandings, skirmishes and conflicts will constantly and involuntarily arise.

"Know thyself and you will know the world," - the wise men of all times and peoples insist, for several millennia. So, maybe we should start studying the basics of family relations with clarifying relations with ourselves? Ask yourself: who am I?Then it will be easier to find out what the people who surround me are and who I am going to build my future with. And only after acquiring such information, it will be possible to agree, "dock" your "I" with another peer "I".

Well, let's put a magic mirror in front of us and try to find out: what kind of actors are we, what kind of person?

How to talk about personality traits, when we have not set ourselves, what do we mean by pronouncing this word? Do not be surprised at these stops: the topic we have with you is very complex, and even if there will be confusion in terms. Then one will say one thing, another under the same concept mean different, and there will be no use for conversation. So, we need to comprehend the word "personality".

One young man said the following:

- Personality - these are the features, qualities and qualities that distinguish us from other people. Well, let's say, the color of hair and eyes, height, facial features( probably, the word "personality" emerged from here), gait, voice - all our appearance is shorter.

- This characterizes only the nature of these properties. And personality is a social phenomenon.

"We do not have a generally accepted definition of a person as a subject of psychological research," read a famous Soviet psychologist, academician A. V. Petrovsky. You see where we went: into the unknown area.

It so happened that the author of these lines was a participant of one of the many "round tables" arranged by the magazine "Student Meridian".It was attended by Academician A. V. Petrovsky, you are all well-known playwright V. S. Rozov, popular actor O. P. Tabakov, specialist in social psychology F.T. Mikhailov and many others.

Here are some excerpts from the dispute, which express the main positions of the participants of this "feast".

VS Rozov: You are a person from birth. But wipe yourself, like a nickle, or not - it depends on you. I agree with Spock, who says that the person begins with the word "no".

AV Petrovsky: The fact that a person is able to capture outside of himself is one of the most important and full of its characteristics. We are talking about historical figures, that they have captured themselves with their lives in a multitude of people, left a mark on them. If we could fix this trace in others, we would probably get the most complete characterization of a person. And if we are talking about an active life position, then it primarily manifests a moral principle. We say: a noble person or a mean person. The scoundrel makes a change in his environment, but what's good about these changes? The active opportunist is the most disgusting thing that can be. OP Tabakov: It so happened that I always did the coveted, favorite thing. Being engaged in an unloved business, it is hardly possible to become a person. This seems to me one of the important conditions for finding yourself, riding into the unknown, to the racing star, which is called a person. F.T. Mikhailov: How to be a man in the modern world? If, for example, the subject of his activity or the mode of action is set in advance as a scheme, standard, conveyor? Do not succumb to the standard! Treat yourself as a problem. When I take my work from the standpoint of historical culture, then I think, I am a person. We must try to remember that we are universal by nature, and not narrowly specialized, we must wake up in ourselves and in the neighbor of the creator.

As you can see, participants in the "round table" argued and objected to each other, but nevertheless agreed on a common thought: a person is an attitude to himself, to other people, to the phenomena of modern life, an attitude expressed in deeds, in activity.

The person does not have age limits. The baby declares himself as a person, when, resolutely pushing away the mother's guarding hands, he makes the first independent steps on the ground."I am myself!" And while he imitates adults, he is a pioneer, he is the creator always when he says this proud "I am myself!".He opens the world again, he reveals himself.

A person claims to be a teenager when he makes a conscious choice between good and evil, when he overcomes the weakness of a weak person, resists cheap temptations when he sets difficult tasks and achieves his own.

The person remains an ancient old man, when against the winter coldness of the heart generously distributes to everyone the last sparks of the soul.

For a person there are no restrictions in the profession, occupation. Hero of Socialist Labor turner E. N. Moryakov once told the journalist that he does not understand the division of professions into creative and "uncreative".After all, actors, if you think about it, also mass production. Every day the same role, to the word, to the gesture. But the true artist knows how to find something new and unexpected in the habitual way. Creativity is possible everywhere.

For the individual, there are no visible visible signs of excellence and prosperity. Often he "is his own highest court".Who was Tsiolkovsky for the majority of the inhabitants of the pre-revolutionary Kaluga? A loser, a deaf eccentric, a poor teacher and a visionary. He otstupis from his dream goal, it would be a comfortable life, high ranks and awards. But this would not have been the same Tsiolkovsky.

If to reduce all told to the most compressed definition, then the personality is SELECTION and OVERCOMING.Choice - as an awareness of your destination. And overcoming - as a character, will in the implementation of choice.

The definition given to a person by the great physiologist IP Pavlov as a self-regulating and self-improving system( note that the two return parts of the word are "self" and "Xia") indicate that each of us is as individual as "self-"ie, he who is self-conscious, organizes himself. The followers of Pavlov, deepening the knowledge of man, show us how to evaluate yourself and others. First of all, we must answer the question: what do I want, what do I strive for? And the answer will open up close and distant goals, the direction of our interests, life goals, needs, ideals. The second question: what can I do? The answer will reveal abilities, inclinations, and even talent, breadth and depth of interests. The third question: what is the nature, temperament, what is nature? And the fourth: how do I perceive duty and duty to myself and others? This questionnaire will help to identify the basic parameters of the personality. And since the overwhelming majority of people have aspirations, there are certain abilities, and finally, a character and awareness of responsibility, then the majority has every reason to claim a title that is sometimes perceived almost as a sign of special difference.

Another thing is that the identity of a person is different. It is no accident that in the Russian language researchers of this phenomenon found 1500 definitions, which clarify which personality is in front of us. They express its height and lowlands, dignity and flaws: intellectual, moral, business and emotional. However, when any of you read books, watch movies, then, without being burdened with special knowledge on this subject, instantly distinguish: here it is - a heroic personality, it is a talented, generous, broad, it is kind, bright, attractive, it is- selfless, but modest, inconspicuous. But these characters, although they are called personalities, but with a negative characteristic. Will also assess the degree of activity, the scale of the personality, its impact on others.

The figures who went down in history, above all the fighters for the happiness of mankind, its leaders, "the rulers of doom", often they defined the development of peoples for centuries. Their image and ideas shaped the interests and aspirations of millions of people. Many outstanding personalities did not leave their names to us, but left their creations. We do not know the names of the pioneers of the most important knowledge and skills that helped man become the master of the planet. We do not know who tamed wild animals, who cultivated plants and grains, who learned to use fire, to melt metal, who built a boat and invented a wheel, who "read" a map of the starry sky, created the first written and numeric designations, etc., andetc. But the persons were also those who took their science, strengthened and improved useful skills. Eternal workers did not pass without a trace on the planet, they changed the face of the Earth and the mores of close and distant relatives. And they aspired to comprehend their own abilities and opportunities, to use them to achieve life goals, to control their desires and passions.

Your own experience will be prompted by examples convincing: and in the young years there is the opportunity to declare yourself a full-fledged personality, able to set high and complex goals and achieve them. Among you there are many such that are generously endowed with nature, which early start to develop their abilities and achieve notable successes. There are known cases when the names of schoolchildren were called the stars and comets discovered by them, the names of young inventors and poets, artists, sportsmen are known. But respect is also enjoyed by those who showed strong will, purposefulness and managed to overcome the resisting science, acquired the desired profession not because of, but in spite of natural opportunities.

Advances in teaching primarily depend on what goals you set for yourself and in what ways you will achieve them. It's not for nothing that they say: education can not be given, but it can be taken. At the price of great efforts of will, ability and desire to work. And what do we see in life?

One learns to learn more, gain broad and deep knowledge about the world and life. This is one reason, one motive, as psychologists say. In this case, for a person, naturally a wide range of interests, relentlessness in work, independence in the ways of performing tasks. Estimates for him - a consequence, the outcome of the desired work.

Another motive: man is motivated by a selfish desire to establish himself in the eyes of teachers( or friends) as: an erudite. A person tries not so much deeply and thoroughly to know how much to flash with an effective phrase, to throw a "tricky" question. His knowledge at the same time may be superficial, intellectual abilities will not develop, but, probably, will develop dexterity, resourcefulness, morbid vanity, which will deprive the work of selfless joy and will awaken the pains of envy to those who are ahead of success and gain more prestige.

The third motive: the teaching as a performance of duty, conscientious, but without search and excitement. Simply, there is such a character trait: to do well everything, for whatsoever took. Useful feature. Although it does not always give bright and juicy fruits of effort, it does not threaten with a waste of time. Namely, such a threat looms before those who do everything through their sleeves. And also "fundamentally."There are some among you who do not so much study, how skillfully they pretend. All the mental energy is used to avoid trouble, bad assessments and reprimands. Of course, and with this attitude to the teaching, some development takes place, training of memory, for example, but one can rightly say: ten years, ten important milestones in the formation of the person were for nothing. There was no disclosure for himself and for all the abilities that were inherent from birth, they did not receive further development. And in nature it's so arranged: what does not develop, then dies. You look, the less able to do more, better able.

"Capable troechniki" - a fairly common phenomenon in school. It is from this environment that all disgruntled losers come out: they want a lot, they feel their capabilities and the forces surrounding them are waiting for a lot, but they can not do much because it is difficult to catch up, and yet it is difficult to overcome the inertia of the hackneyed attitude towards business, and, therefore, to himself.

According to experts, the most fruitful is the student's focus not on success, not on the subject even, namely, self-development and self-improvement. And not only the student, but also the person engaged in any kind of activity. Here, for example, what the woman-cosmonaut twice Hero of the Soviet Union Savitskaya said about the development of her abilities in air transport and about the preparation for cosmic navigation: "When I began to seriously engage in aviation sports, I realized that here for self-control, self-analysis is primarily necessary for progress. What did - it turned out, did not work out - evaluate. This habit is analyzed in order to constantly improve, of course, very much needed in preparing for space flight. "

It is necessary to develop a similar habit and all of us to fly above the vanity and standard of everyday life, to find maturity. There are just words of K. Marx that self-knowledge is the first condition of wisdom.

Everything that was said about the training of your activities can be fully attributed to any extracurricular affairs and relationships. After all, a lot of these guys whose interests and inclinations are revealed and realized in various circles, sections, even in courtyard companies, in friendly, cordial and kinship ties, and it happens that the person respected behind the doors of the school in his walls turns out to be not very well-known, and vice versa:an honors pupil, an activist, and in the courtyard - an outcast, all persecuted, unrestrained ineptitude.

This is another feature in the definition of a person: the multifacetedness of her assessments. So, in school, at work, the main criteria by which an individual is assessed are related to success in teaching, in action, and moral qualities are sometimes perceived as secondary. In any class there are children who do not differ in outstanding achievements in teaching, in sport, invention, and art, but their good character, feelings of honor, justice, compassion, disinterestedness are not obvious. Their dignity does not bring medals, applause, or first placeseven imagine unimaginable: the first place in compassion).But that's why they should be highly valued, that children act without self-interest and without a thirst for someone to get ahead. But, alas, we sometimes forget that the moral qualities and qualities ultimately determine everything we have done on earth: in the name of which achievement, success, discovery? The degree of activity, the scale of activity, the highest and most grandiose, can be turned to evil for people or only for the benefit of the "beloved ones," not to withstand the test of honor and conscience, justice and selflessness. And then - what kind of merit is this, what kind of person is this? !

- Are evil, selfish people also capable of self-regulation, self-improvement, etc., that is, they possess the most important properties of personality? Are these concepts difficult to apply to them?- one of you will be surprised.

Unfortunately, the very concept of personality does not have one plus sign, like all phenomena of human life. The viability of defects and shortcomings is explained in large part by the fact that they are struck by strong, strong-willed, smart, talented and even self-aware and self-cultivated persons. But they have different goals than other positive goals, different attitudes and other motives of activity, different attitudes and views on what is needed are important, valuable, that is, a different system of social and moral values. The scale of these individuals' activities is also different: from a petty thief to a villain of a planetary scale. Some people forget about the next day after their disappearance from the horizon, others remember for a long time. Sometimes thousands of years. They cursed and scared them with the names of their children, but they remember. They, however, also serve as a means of education: on their examples they teach how not to act. And if they are called, then "evil geniuses of mankind".

The name of Herostratus became the nominal name, for the dubious glory of the burnt temple of Artemis, one of the wonders of the world.(Unfortunately, the people have forgotten the name of the creator of this miracle, but they remember the destroyer.) Now, when we want to point out the pains of unsatisfied self-esteem, pushing a person to commit a crime, we say: "He yearns for heroic glory."

The last centuries have brought to the list of evil geniuses a considerable number of eminent heroes, bloodthirsty "Fuhrers" dreaming of world domination, the subordination of people of a different race, nation, ideology to their faith. They attract scientific inventions, mass media, etc.

We need to learn to recognize the destructive beginning behind outwardly attractive shells and words. As an example, you are the most understandable, I will talk about how the value system is built, how "self-development" is conducted among those who are just entering the path, leading from light to shadow.

You are well-known for noisy courtyard companies, whose entire concern is to drink, fight, or even pull off that badly lies. These guys evaluate their actions on a different scale of values, rather than those who judge them. In the environment of street hooligans, the higher the member of the company is judged, the more skilful he can take, and not give up, humiliate, and not elevate another, to get out of work and hardship. A person with a different moral attitude does not find in logic or hooligan behavior any logic or honor.

However, a hooligan, a thief, a parasite, paradoxically, too, is dissatisfied with himself, strives for excellence in a quality in which he realizes himself and values ​​as a "dashing guy."And he has his own "gods and heroes."Without destroying these values ​​and authorities, it is useless to shame him and appeal to change. He, too, will not understand a person "out of the world."Unless at the court, having felt the legislative power and power, it will submit to them. And if he repents, he does not always do what he has done, and sometimes - in his own imperfection: he failed, did not have time to cover up the tracks, got caught, someone stronger and dexterous beat him.

Recall the passionate monologue of the Governor from the Gogol's "Inspector" when he learns that "an icicle, a rag took for an important person":

"The governor( beats himself captive): How am I?no, like me, an old fool! I have been out of my mind in my old age!. . I have been working for thirty years;no merchant, no one contractor could hold, scammers scammers deceived;scoundrels and rogues such that the whole world is ready to steal, poddaval on udu, deceived three governors! "

Here it is a special identity of a dark person and the goal of self-development is to become a" scammer over scammers ", to rob a thief who can rob the entire world. Well, than not aspiration to perfection?

History and literature often introduce us to the biographies of gifted people who have embarked on the path of vice and are following it sensibly and even purposefully. You, of course, know the name of the ancient Roman emperor Nero, which became a kind of standard of cruelty, treachery. There was not such an abomination that he would not have done with pleasure, there is no such sin and dishonor that he would avoid. But no one has ever said that he did everything because of lack of thought, because of a misunderstanding of himself or because he did not know how to keep himself in hand, to control his passions. On the contrary, he is known among other tyrants that he could accept any guise: a democrat and a despot, a tender devoted son and murderer of his own mother, patron of arts and philosophy and the culprit of the all-destroying Roman fire. The legend says: when Nero, escaping from the inevitable punishment for his atrocities, committed suicide, in the last instant he managed to give himself high marks:

- What a great actor is dying! He cried, rushing to the sword.

Philosopher I. Kant believed that self-awareness is an indispensable prerequisite for morality and moral responsibility. The example of Nero and similar "enlightened tyrants" who were inclined to self-analysis, but did not shine with moral valor( for example, Ivan the Terrible, Catherine II, etc.), makes us seek clarification of Kant's thought. Apparently, self-consciousness leads us to active spiritual activity, and where it leads a person, in many respects depends on what vital, moral attitudes it carries within itself.

So, we have designated two extremes: light and darkness, "yes" and "no."But there is a "maybe", an intermediate type, often called a contradictory personality.

We must admit that in its purest form in our life there are not so often heroic personalities and gloomy villains. And such assessments are an afterword of their lives. Life itself is always a process, a movement: the "bright" ones become such, getting rid of the shadow, vicious addictions and habits( otherwise what is their self-improvement if they initially have no flaws?), And the "dark" overcome the good beginnings(for the same reason, "self-development in vice").

Because M. Gorky advised in the stumbled man to look for good, for which you can grab and pull to the side of good. On this principle, the entire educational activity of such outstanding teachers as AS Makarenko, VA Sukhomlinsky, their followers was built and built. On the same basis, relations develop between relatives and close people who seek each other to support all the good impulses and aspirations, overcome the dark forces that often take over our thoughts and desires. Yes, you yourself do not digress from a friend that one day he stumbled.

- So what happens? The most numerous group consists of "contradictory individuals", and we are among them?- Sadly noticed one girl, with all the tone that made it clear that she does not agree to the intermediate position.

I had to rehabilitate this category of personalities. Yes, indeed, in kind people, good beginnings lead a protracted and irreconcilable struggle against the evil for a complete triumph in the human soul, often causing incomparable torments to her. Literature and drama are extremely rich in these characters. Prince Danish Hamlet - the embodiment of the "martyr of introspection."And the whole endless gallery of heroes of Russian literature, called "superfluous people", also gives us an idea of ​​how costly disorder, eternal search for true values, discontent with oneself and environment are costly. And these searches often became a matter of all life. However, the search for higher truths was the work of all life and the writers themselves. In the biographies of their heroes, they reproduced the stages of their own spiritual biography, or through a literary double they "lost" a possible variant of developing their own personality under certain conditions and circumstances. The versatility, versatility and inconsistency of the author affected the multifacetedness of his incarnations. For example, it is known that the image of Natasha Rostova is one of the incarnations of Tolstoy.

Contradiction does not mean facelessness. The hero of Dostoyevsky's novel "Crime and Punishment", Rodion Raskolnikov, comes to mind. To find out who he is - a "trembling creature" or a superman who can afford to "break" the rules and norms prescribed by the "ordinary", Raskolnikov goes on to kill the old woman-interest.

- Why should we delve into the sufferings of Hamlet, study the throwings of Raskolnikov?- one more question of my listeners. - We do not inherit the wealth and crimes of kings. It does not occur to us to check ourselves in such a wild way that Raskolnikov chose.

There is no dispute: a concrete experience, and even a literary hero, may seem useless, artificial - in form and substance. But if you drop the storyline and go deeper into the character and direction of the thoughts and feelings of the characters, a lot of instructive can be learned for yourself and find echoes in your own experiences.

What is nobler: humbly bear the blows of a ruthless fate, retreat before it or rise against the sea of ​​evil and end the dispute by struggle? It is unlikely that there will be a thinking person who would not ask this "Hamlet problem", as well as many other, set by the seekers of true values. And not one Rodion Raskolnikov, brought up in good and noble traditions, learned the temptation: "violate" the norms and rules on which he grew up.

"A man by nature inherits the desire to go" out of bounds "," beyond his limits, "to break through his" limit ", since the world does not satisfy a person and he decides to change the world by his action, writes VB Churbanov, Doctor of Philosophy.- So, the active essence of a person is manifested, in particular, in the breaking of norms, rules, standards, limiting the manifestation of his strengths and potencies. ""But, of course, not every step outside is a true liberation from them. Obviously, this way out. .. can be from the position of the social whole objectively useful and progressive or socially dangerous, harmful. "

You probably had to meet or hear stories about your peers coming from quite decent families who were caught up in unseemly companies and businesses.

- Where does this come from?"Everyone is amazed at everything." "Nobody taught them anything wrong at home or at school. To know, there was a hidden wormhole in my heart. But all the secret becomes obvious someday. That's surfaced outside. ..

You can take it that way. But it's better not to jump to conclusions. Often we are dealing with an unformed nature, in which the process of self-exploration, self-testing is still going on. Stumbled by your peer has not grown out of short panties of emotional experience. He seemed to linger in a carefree childhood. The kid wants to touch the hot kettle, although he is warned: it is impossible, it will hurt. He nevertheless reaches out to the forbidden and. .. is burned. Children's recognition of the world by trial and error leads to bruises, abrasions and lumps. A similar way of recognizing oneself and the world by teenagers and boys leads to much more severe consequences.

And many guys do not take into account that the time of admiring their naivety, inability, inexperience has already passed. And what they said goodbye to them yesterday, today will be written down in a black line in destiny, and, it happens, you can not really cut off such letters. The kid pulled at the adult some thing, swung his fist at his grandmother, cursed the another's aunt with an evil word: they would explain to him that it was not good to do so, and even punished( without the sweet leave, without the usual fairy tale "Good Night, Kids").The same will make a fourteen-year-old teenager, especially a young man or a girl, a different payoff, sometimes quite severe. The guilty one explains that he did not speak for that, took, waved, that something was appropriated, someone put out anger."I do not know why."

Experts call this "unmotivated misdemeanor" and find an explanation for some of them, especially age: in need to test oneself for fracture and dislocation, for risk and fear. Of course, the recognition of oneself occurs not in some reflections and speculative exercises, but also in the process of various activities. However, if a person, trying to know "what I am", does not think about what he is doing, this activity can become reprehensible and punishable.

- But how do I know whether I dared or not, without endangering myself?- I must have a similar question with my reader.

Modern young people are given a wide field of choice of ways and means of self-testing and tempering the will. How many adult responsible affairs that a teenager can take on his shoulders, how many troubles and grief still surround us, even among your peers who demand your complicity. How many kinds of sport, risky, requiring courage, endurance, the highest tension of all forces. How many opportunities to declare their dignity without violating moral norms and rules, but it is planting them among those who are drawn into mud and darkness. By the way, the easiest thing is to fall in and take others with you. The most difficult thing is to keep the falling ones and to lift the fallen ones.

If Raskolnikov had examined his will and the ability to rise above the "creatures trembling" with such means as the other literary hero and his contemporary Rakhmetov experienced, then the character would have been tested without harm to those around him, and the conscience of the test-tester would not have suffered.

Let's learn a lesson from this destiny: it is impossible, it is immoral to aspire to grow out of yourself an outstanding personality, humiliating and trampling others, especially those who are weaker, lower, even morally worse. Only by raising them, you will rise with them as Raskolnikov himself rose from the moral whirlpool, when he took care of the fate of the "humiliated and insulted" Marmeladovs.

You probably noticed that the number of personality characteristics we have is steadily increasing from example to example. And this range is infinite, as an infinitely diverse manifestation of the strength and weakness of the human spirit. From skillful mastering of physical and mental reactions, submission to the will of almost life itself and death( such abilities are possessed by yogis) to the complete paralysis of the will, which turns the very existence into a kind of lethargic sleep, dreams in reality( like Oblomov's).

"An insignificant person" called the infamous hero of the novel I. Ilf and E. Petrov "The Golden Calf" Panikovsky his partner Shura Balaganova. This title can be given to many literary heroes and living people, who only have enough self-awareness to realize their uselessness, miserliness of their interests and aspirations. Sympathy is caused by those of them who suffer from their own impotence, who pay for it with the anguish of the heart. There are also narcissistic pettifogues - this category is perhaps the most dangerous for others, especially if an absurd case concentrates in the hands of such a person power: Judas Golovlev comes from there. This is Neron's home scale. And for all its abomination and insignificance - also a person, because it is "raised" to self-esteem, albeit false and hypocritical, turned inside out.

One of the most important characteristics of personality: harmonic( antipode - disharmonic).We have already said that the self-realization and regulation of one's own behavior begins with the moment when he asks himself three important questions: what do I want, what can I and what should I do? The answers to them will form a generalized portrait: what am I?According to Leonardo da Vinci, a person can be considered happy and harmonious if he wants what he can, or maybe what he should. So, as we approach this ideal - the coherence between desire, opportunities and responsibilities - we are approaching our own happy and harmonious being. And on the contrary, how much our hopes are weakened, the needs with real conditions and opportunities and with a debt understood by us, so we are unhappy, we suffer so much from feelings of dissatisfaction with ourselves and the world.

- Let, as so, we always believed that a harmonious person can be called, which combines a variety of abilities and talents. How is it with Mayakovsky: "The earth will fall - will write poetry", - we hear here the voice of the tireless opponent.

However, it is unlikely that he will be able to find an objection to the many historical examples that convince: the versatility of interests may not affect the moral, mental equilibrium.

Again, an example with Nero. He is much more versatile: he is a ruler, he is a singer, a reciter, a skilled charioteer, an organizer of colossal merrymaking and spectacle. And it can not be called a harmonious personality: all the acts of Nero met his desires and possibilities, but sharply disagreed with the moral laws of even that immoral society in many respects.

To somewhat defuse such a tense conversation, remember the "versatile personality" - the charming cheat, Ostap Bender. He does not all can, but will not give up any business, adventures, will perform in any role with a certain, though scandalous success. However, for all his self-confidence, he was often deeply troubled by the fact that all his talents go to waste, as they got to the "wrestler for money signs", which he himself despises. Here there is a gap between natural abilities, rich possibilities and the way they are realized in small and ridiculous ways. Not without reason, with envy and longing, Ostap follows the participants of a genuine, not mythical, auto race: a real life flew by.

So, to achieve this most necessary for happiness, a person needs to find himself, his place in society and a favorite thing, to find a way with the environment, with relatives and relatives, with whom we are also connected by a sincere desire( I want) and opportunities( I can), and responsibility, duty( duty).(Please note, we seem to have concluded this topic by returning to the starting point of the conversation: what is happiness and how to get it?)

Let's try to reproduce all the listed characteristics of a person:

scale: from great to negligible, from mighty to weak;

morality: from pure, light, heroic to vicious, tyrannical;

harmony: from the happy consent of purpose and means, desire and duty to an endless conflict with itself in all respects;from wholeness through multifacetedness to meager facelessness( aware of its facelessness).

And the last quote relating to this topic: "... a person who is a person, from our point of view, has such a level of mental development that makes him capable of controlling his behavior and activities, and to a certain extent also his mental development".This conclusion was made by the psychologist LI Bozhovich.

Now in the order of the first practical lesson we suggest you draw your own portrait. What if you take the courage? First, outline external signs, describe the most characteristic features of a person, figures, gait. Then we will try to evaluate the traits that are inherent in us as individuals: temperament( choleric, sanguine, phlegmatic, melancholic - they should be known to you from lessons on physiology and higher nervous activity of a person);tastes, addictions, habits. And then we will start to define personal data: in what and how much is our conscious and purposeful management of our own behavior manifested? How much do we realize our rights, opportunities and responsibilities and persistently follow the chosen direction?

What, you were surprised by the proposal to study and describe features that do not seem to determine the person: the external data and the physiological properties of the individual? But in reality our consciousness and well-being are largely determined by biological and psychophysiological factors: we are healthy or weak, strong or weak, beautiful or not, even from the height of growth depends our self-esteem. And from temperament - also how pathetic and indulgent we are to our own and others' weaknesses and how selflessly we are ready to defend our beliefs, recklessly or cautiously to start fulfilling the planned plans, the reactions to external pathogens are primarily caused by the natural features of our body.

Education and self-education can open and develop natural talents and abilities, or, on the contrary, break and distort them, but nobody has succeeded in discovering and developing what is not in our nature.

Let's turn to a well-known example with AV Suvorov: his body was weak, but the spirit, the character - strong. And he, using this advantage, perfected the body. Now more often we hear how the ancient proverb is refuted: "A sound mind is in a healthy body"."On the contrary," they say, others: if the spirit is healthy, the body will also be healthy. A rotten soul will also burn a healthy body. "The author of these lines is somehow closer to the dialectical middle: everything in our nature is intimately intertwined and interconnected. That is why it is so difficult to pinpoint: this is the reason - this is the consequence. It's like answering the scholastic question: what was earlier born-an egg or a chicken?