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  • The child's development image always lags behind the child's self-development.

    This is explained quite simply by the fact that we do not immediately notice changes in the psyche, as we do not immediately notice a cooling or warming. But this is like a "mechanical" explanation. And the main( psychological) explanation lies in the parental position. If he is small, then he understands less, understands less, knows less. And the fact that even an embryo makes development much faster than the animal world and humanity has developed - this is not taken into account. And we will consider. The child develops quickly, as well as it grows. We will not have time to get used to the fact that he began to walk, he already began to run. Hence - significant restrictions. After all, we are afraid of what would happen.

    And it turns out that

    WE WRITT THE CHILD IN INFANTRY.

    AND ADOLESCENT WRITERS BACK TO CHILDHOOD.

    Mom does it with great zeal. And what are the consequences? The first consequence is underdevelopment. The girl would have been embroidering, and her mother was afraid to give her needles and scissors. And she does not continue to embroider. .. Second, and this is important too, children themselves are eager for more complex( and dangerous) activities. But, deprived of moral support and training, they receive the injuries: they are pricked, they "cut" their fingers, fall off the steps and from the chairs, are burned. .. And that would be nothing. The parent expresses his prohibitions very often authoritatively and ceases to be their authority, but remains only a despot who forbids the knowledge of the world. They snarl, they come into conflict with their parents. How to be?

    It is necessary to create conditions for this self-development and, at the same time, to anticipate and prevent hazards.

    Moreover, you need a double safety margin for the child. I'm not going to write an encyclopedia from my advice, but I'll say the most probable things.

    Suppose a child was attracted by a stool. The stool does not have a backrest, which is a chair. You can climb on it from any direction. Katya has learned: the foot of one foot on a stool, has passed;center of gravity, pulled up his leg - and all: "I'm there."But the stool is fraught with danger. Often the edges of the seat hang over the floor, and if you stand on the edge, the stool slips out of the way and falls, and with it the child. Roar, tears, snot, fear, refusal of further action. Not with Katya. Because I showed her the mechanism of such a fall in advance. Put her foot on the edge. . I hold for insurance."She told me to stand up, the stool turned up and flew to the side, Katya hung on my hands. Two more such a session, and Katya realized: the leg should be placed in the center of the seat, away from the edge, and then the fall is prevented..And falling off a stool - it hurts. And we'll notice that it's not just on the floor, but the stool itself still beats on the leg. .. But, having mastered the stool, Katya proudly looks at each "climbing" on it, like a climber on top of the conquered mountain.

    On the stool - do not swing

    Doors. Pay attention, the child goes to the door straight, like Mom and Dad. But if someone comes out and opens the door to the outside, the adult, predicting this, is removed in time. The child can hit the door, knock him down, shock him, frighten him. Someone from adults accidentally moved the door, and she moved the child. .. Therefore, Katya does not go directly to the door, but becomes close to her. And he looks at us proudly: you see, I got up right.

    Katya will not enter the elevator without an adult. Once - a natural experiment turned out - I stuck with it in the elevator: negotiations with the control room, the vanity of release. She behaved calmly. But henceforth, One does not aspire to the elevator.

    Matches. Katya knows that if you light a match, it is easily burned. Because I lifted her finger along with my finger at the same distance to the burning match. She understood that it was hot. Closer - hotter. Even closer - she already said: "No", although her finger was next to my finger. I had to organize her and a small fire on the baking sheet. Now she plays with matches as chopsticks, makes letters from them, glues together with plasticine different designs, but there is no desire to light matches herself. Just in case, we are all the time on the stirrup in this regard. But conscious self-control is already ready for her.

    Door slots. How many misfortunes they brought to the children, and to some adults. But after all the child needs also freedom, so, self-discipline. Well, first of all, when only the first independent steps on stenochke - and the door after all, too stenochka - we all the doors fixed with hooks and various other devices so that they opened and closed in no other way than by the will of adults. When Katya began to learn and speak words and phrases, I spent with her "paltsesspasitelnye" conversation. Showed how the door can break a pencil, twig, wand. Then he put his fingers in the crack, showed that the door would break my fingers. Katya screamed sympathetically that she did not need to, that she already understood everything. Nevertheless, sometimes I see that caution is decreasing, then I again spend a "paltsesspasitelnuyu" conversation with the show. ..

    Teapot to take it with two hands, one by the handle, the other at the bottom or with a napkin for the tip of the kettle - will not be hot and comfortable. It is necessary to teach the child to check the lid of the kettle - the latch to be directed to the back.

    Often tea in a cup is too hot. You can pour a little into another cup. It will not be so hot anymore. Then pour a little more. Such a fractional cooling safety guarantee.

    On the electrical and, especially, gas stove, everything should be kept away from the edge. There is a chair next to it, so that the child can not walk close to the stove. But an older child can push back a chair. Then we must carefully monitor.