Care for a restless or colicky child
Some children come to the world with special properties, which immediately earn them the title of "restless."These difficult children are squeezed out of those who care for them, drop all patience and all creativity and leave those who have been given the privilege of taking care of them, a little wiser and more sensitive. Let's get acquainted with these special little personalities.
The first three of our children were so easy to handle that we wondered why everyone was so worried about difficult children. And now our fourth child appears, Hayden, who turned our relatively quiet house upside down. Hayden was arranged differently. On what worked for the rest of our children, it was not to buy. Whether it's food or sleep, the term "timetable" in the dictionary Hayden
was absent. She was a child who was constantly on her hands or on her chest. When we laid her down, she raised her howl and calmed down when we took her in her arms and wore it - all the time. The family game for Sears was "pass the child to another."Hayden spent hours with hands on her hands. When Martha's hands dropped, I took the child. It usually worked when we wore it in a children's bag, but not always.
If we tried to leave her with someone to rest a little from her, which she needed for a long time, her crying could not be stopped by anything. Our family slogan was: "Wherever Martha and Bill were going, Hayden was necessary".Hayden was like glued to us day and night, without leaving her daytime fussiness and at night. She maliciously refused to lie in bed;She could sleep, and even then irregularly, only next to a warm body in our bed. The cot, which served as a comfortable home for our first three children, soon migrated to a garage sale. The only constant behavior on Hayden's side was her impermanence: what worked in one day did not work the next. We were in a state of constant testing of new ways to reassure her. She was awarded the title "demanding" and dutifully wore it.
Our feelings towards Hayden were as changeable as her behavior. In some days we adored her;in others we were exhausted;on other days we were simply embarrassed and embittered.
If she were our first child, we would think that this is our fault, and they would rack our brains about what we are doing wrong. But by this time we were already experienced parents, so we knew that it was not about us! Then we survived the bombardment with conflicting advice: "You hold her too much in your arms", "You pamper her;just let her cry, "" She manipulates you. "We defended ourselves against these attempts on our parental approach, holding on to what helped and what seemed right. Lesson number one in caring for this type of children: children behave restless mainly because of their temperament, and not because of the low level of your parental abilities.
A few weeks after her birth, we realized that we have a special child with special needs that needs special care - and we were determined to give it to him. But how? We realized that Hayden will fully develop only if we develop a more sensitive and creative parenting approach. But it was a severe test.