How to reconcile with a loved one - make love with your beloved

The man and woman who created the couple is a whole system in which each of them closely interacts with another person for quite some time. In those cases when a family is being created, this time is often calculated in tens of years. Of course, in such a system of intensive and practically constant interaction conflicts, disputes and crises can not arise. Therefore, the question of how to reconcile with a loved one, worries not only young, but also quite mature partners.

Learning to put up with your loved one

The quarrel is not a solution to the conflict, it's just a step to re-building relations with the ground. And in such situations it is important to know how to reconcile with a loved one who, most likely, is offended and angry at you. But still, you should not try to establish relations immediately after a quarrel - it threatens only with a new conflict and an even wider gap in your relationship - or prolong the silence endlessly.

The most difficult thing in reconciliation is to take the first step to continue communication and not blame the beginning of the conflict or its causes for your partner. Imagine that you have a temporary amnesia, and you do not remember either the quarrel or the cause that caused it. Say that you love him, you feel bad without him, and you already miss him. If you find it difficult to express this idea with words, use hugs.

In a situation where the partner is not ready to put up, but you really want to do it, it's better to wait a little and give him time to "cool down".Start a conversation on a neutral topic, suggest together to watch an interesting movie or make a delicious dinner with his favorite dishes.

Causes of conflicts

As you can not reconcile with your loved one after an argument( unfortunately, cases of complete breakdown of relations are not uncommon in our life), conflicts should not start "from scratch".Of course, for mutual claims there are also objective reasons.

According to psychologists, quarrels between a man and a woman in a couple often occur because of the dissatisfaction of the needs of one partner. In this case, the problem may be:

• psychosexual incompatibility,
• feeling of disrespect of your partner's sense of dignity,
• lack of positive emotions, cares and caresses,
• one of partners' attachment to excessive satisfaction of their own needs( for example, most financial expenses only for oneself),
• lack of mutual assistance and mutual understanding( for example, on the distribution of household duties or participation in the upbringing of children),
• differences in desires for the conductleisure activities, etc.

Avoiding conflicts

Psychologists identify several basic rules of behavior that allow you to exclude from their lives serious conflicts:

• try to avoid talking to a partner phrases that negatively assess his personality, criticize his behavior, but not himself, do not say "always" or "never""," Your whole family "," people like you ", etc.;
• never make sexual reproaches( they are not forgotten);
• try not to save mistakes and grievances, but react to them at once, in a calm tone, discussing this or that problem;
• strive for some kind of joint activity, towards a common common interest in something positive( sports, art, etc.), but do not criticize each other's mistakes;
• find attractive and positive traits in your partner, and talk to him as often as possible about how you like them;
• do not tell your partner badly to strangers( even close friends and girlfriends), do not take out "dirty linen";
• do not take on all the problems, allowing the partner to drop to the "child level"( life without responsibility for anything);remember that your partner is an adult and an independent person;
• takes the time to relax from each other, especially if one of you has a very limited social circle.

Conflict with

We all understand that an unresolved conflict will sooner or later be aroused by constant psychological pressure, a difficult or even desperate situation. Do not forget that conflicts also hamper the correct manifestation of important feelings for the partners and the satisfaction of the needs for security and trust. However, conflict resolution depends mainly on the ability of partners to understand, forgive and give in.

So, the conflict( quarrel) has nevertheless begun. Now, the main thing, however strange it may seem to you, is to avoid victory in it. After all, winning one is always a defeat for another, and a partner is not an enemy on the battlefield. Try to stop, stop screaming and making claims. To facilitate "slowing down", count to 30 and take a few deep breaths. Now try to honestly ask yourself what really bothers you - that little thing that makes you "grapple" or something more important that prevents you from living normally with your partner.

In case of conflict in the first variant try to speak softly, without shouting, carefully picking up arguments, do not show maximalism and categorical. If the partner does not agree with your arguments, give him time to think about your point of view, but do not "slam the door" and do not make ultimatums.

If you - the second option, immediately try to stop the conflict - approach, hug the partner, apologize to him for his lack of restraint, if you quarrel a quarrel, explain that the words of the partner offend you, but you still love him and want to maintain good relations,think about how to reconcile with your loved one, and not to humiliate him.