Romantic marriage
Romantic love most often happens to some extent idealized love, love of love, passion, heated by strong, exciting erotic feelings. Sometimes passion grows into true love for life, but it can just remain a passion. When people experience a romantic hobby, they may lose the ability to eat, sleep, work. Like Romeo and Juliet, they are ready to commit suicide if they do not have the opportunity to connect with each other. Romantic feelings, I would compare with a state where the mood of lovers varies from the peaks of excitation to extreme despair, and vice versa. The Greeks considered this phase of love to be a manifestation of mania, and the famous Spanish philosopher H. Ortega-i-Gaset( 1883-1955) regarded it as a temporary state, similar to a mental illness.
Romantic love is one of the popular themes of literary works, cinematography and television broadcasts. This theme attracts with its melodramatic.
When people are burned with passion, in love with love, they find deep satisfaction in looking at each other's eyes or talking for hours on the phone. Often they invent a secret code: gentle words, gestures or such a facial expression that has a special, sublime, often erotic meaning,
Romantic feelings are sometimes caused by physical attractiveness and exaggerated perception of beauty, as well as other external characteristics of a person. The famous actor Richard Burton describes the admiration that gripped him when he first saw Elizabeth Taylor lying on the edge of the pool: "She was the most amazing, independent, beautiful, remote, inaccessible woman I've ever seen."Romantic feelings can flare up and as a result of exaggeration not only physical data, but also the abilities, knowledge or intelligence of the object of love. Often the first strong passion, caused by the admiration of the exterior, weakens with the loss of a sense of novelty. If people who have married on the basis of such love, there is no more a binder, their union can easily be destroyed.
In the old days romantic love usually had nothing to do with marriage. The courtiers and knights of the Middle Ages were only bound by their spouses, and passion and worship were experienced by other ladies. Their understanding of romantic love included self-determination and suffering. Sexual desires were suppressed and poured into a fiery platonic passion. By the way, the word "passion" has the same origin with the word "suffer".Often lovers were separated by obstacles. In some cases, the knight's feat was necessary in order to overcome them, in order to win favor with his beloved, in others - the chastity belt of the beloved, who did not allow the relationship to cross the forbidden limits, contributed to keeping the passion at the proper level.
This idea of the people of the Middle Ages can be regarded as the historical basis of modern romantic views on love and marriage. Everyone who has ever experienced passion and a strong sexual attraction to another person undoubtedly remembers the feeling of ecstasy that engulfed him in anticipation of a meeting or secret embrace, as well as the inconsolable grief of parting that filled his heart after the meeting. In romantic love, feelings become much sharper if lovers are forcibly separated if obstacles such as disapproval of their relationship with family members arise on their way. Parents may refuse to host a person in whose house their son or daughter is in love. Service in the army of a young man, the desire of one of the lovers before marriage to finish the school or the remote work of the potential spouse may cause separation. Lack of funds, contradictory understanding of values, religious antagonism or calculation for another, more profitable marriage are also a barrier to conclude an alliance between the beloved.
Throughout the world, for centuries, romantic love has taken various forms, has varied manifestations, but its basic elements have always remained constant. The idealized exaggeration of the qualities of another person, the growing passion due to obstacles to marriage, the insurmountable social barriers between lovers and many other factors create in them a feeling of true love, as they say, to the grave. However, as soon as the obstacles to their union disappear and marriage becomes a real possibility, very often the acuity of feelings significantly dies away or completely disappears.
Often married couples who marry such feelings complain later that "they have no romance at all," that "the heat of passion has disappeared."The end of the honeymoon for such spouses means, as it were, the end of the period of romantic passion and the extinction of the "fever," which previously caused a mixture of suffering and delight, when the obstacles seemed so complex and the tortures so powerful.
One married couple who applied for a marriage consultation, very figuratively described her condition: "In fact, we have everything necessary for life. We are well-off financially, but since the time we got married, the charm of passion has disappeared. Our marriage is now just a boring routine. What happened? "
To love a person is not the same as loving love. Romance of love includes recognition and treatment of the beloved as a special and beautiful, but not as an adored or idealized person. Romance is necessary for the real, everyday life of the spouses, but it must be based on a full understanding of each other both in the social and intimate directions of the conjugal union.