Marriage of convenience
People who marry for reasons of benefit, most often view this union as a practical solution to some particular problem. Historically, the oldest basis of marriage - the benefit - has taken various forms at different times: political, dynastic, economic, psychological, sexual, etc. So, for example, even in the recent past, the difficult life of a farmer required the maximum concentration of forces in the fields for cultivation andharvesting. Wife and children became a necessity.
It is known that in the past, marriages were mainly organized by parents who were primarily benefiting. Having married a son or daughter, parents sometimes got rid of the costs of keeping their child or, conversely, they had the opportunity to receive a dowry, and also to take another pair of workers to help the family in the family. There were other considerations: the son-in-law or daughter-in-law were for parents, as it were, a guarantee that in old age they will be taken care of by someone.
Even today, people sometimes marry by calculation, although the reasons for this may differ from those of their ancestors. Some modern marriages are motivated by a sense of social benefit or social necessity. There are people who find it more profitable and suitable for themselves to choose a partner for calculation, rather than make efforts and put before them a problem of choice by feeling.
Very often young people argue like this: "Everyone I know marries. What am I, worse than the others? I never really thought about these issues. I just always knew that I would go to college, get married and have many children! "
A young person or girl, reaching the age when most of their friends get married, often feels the need to follow their example as soon as possible. And the fact that a suitable partner is not always "at hand" does not bother them. Seeking to do as others, a person can erroneously make his choice, giving a young man or girl a non-existent qualities, rejecting, perhaps, more preferable candidates. This is where the roots of many errors lie, which can subsequently make life much more difficult.
Some people enter into a marriage union for the sake of psychological comfort. They create a family in order to satisfy their need to take care of someone and, in turn, feel self-care. Consciously or not, they choose a partner suitable for the expected role. If in the next marriage life one of the partners starts refusing to continue playing, in his opinion, a useful or useless role, then the marriage can change for the better or gradually become disintegrated.
Some people see the psychological benefits of marriage in the fact that they relieve themselves of loneliness. They try to marry because of a feeling of fear or anxiety for their lonely future. An indecisive person needs a partner who is able to make decisions, which is also another prerequisite for creating a family because of psychological comfort.
. .. I knew a girl who was a type of people who loved to take care of others. She was friendly and attractive, full of energy, at parties, she was always in the spotlight. A calm and serious young administrator married her. He, I learned, was counting on the active fascination of his future wife, who could shine at the parties organized by his firm, and thereby contribute to the consolidation of his position.
A serious motivation for getting married is the possibility of intimate relationships. Although some men and women prefer a periodical change of partners, anticipating unexpected meetings, yet most people want to have reliable and permanent intimate relationships. These people are not interested in looking for a potential sexual partner. On the contrary, they are completely satisfied with the belief that such a permanent partner they already have.
Family and religious traditions are directed against premarital intimate relationships. Therefore, many people, experiencing a strong, sometimes uncontrollable sexual attraction, tend to enter as soon as possible into marriage, not thinking about the haste of their decision. And it may have come under pressure of its own sexual needs, and also because of the attitudes of its potential partner. It is known that many girls refuse intimate relations before the wedding.
The main force that unites men and women for living together can be considered the desire to create a family. If a woman who is unmarried expects a child, then more often than not, she marries his father. Sometimes they resort to this in order to avoid public condemnation. The motivating cause of marriage may be the desire of a man and a woman to give a child a name, a fear of being illegitimate. It is estimated that every fifth firstborn born in the United States was conceived before marriage. Thus, marriage, created for the sake of family formation, is a very frequent phenomenon.
Many young people live together and do not formalize their relationship until the woman is informed of the future heir.
Then they get married. And not always they do it only because they have no other choice or are pursued by fear and coercion. Most of these couples are married because they love each other and want to have children. They believe that it is better to have children and educate them in marriage than out of marital relations. A family for such people is a great value. For their future children, they are trying to create a stable, solid home.
Many single men and women who have remained with their children after the divorce or death of one of the spouses tend to remarry more often also for the sake of creating a family. They seek to provide their children with all the benefits of a full family life and therefore try to find in their partner for them a future father or mother. The expected benefit can be to help raise children or in financial support. Quite often, the creation of a family is facilitated by the need for burdensome economic functions-washing, cooking, repairing household things, etc., by the future partner.
However, it can not be denied that repeated marriages are very often based on feelings of deep affection, love and mutual moral support.
It is extremely difficult to educate children alone. Therefore, for many single fathers and mothers, remarriage is simply necessary.
Economic considerations often become the basis of marriage. This happens when two well-off people want to combine their wealth, or one of them wants to own the property of the other or wants to open access to the money of the future partner. In those marriages in which the family of the husband sets a goal to protect the family status from someone else's encroachments, the bride is sometimes forced to give up all rights to her husband's property in advance for herself and her future children.
When we talk about economic considerations when entering into marriage, we also mean young people with stable income, not even very large, but who are successful, as they attract future partners with their reliable economic base.
Many of the marriages of older people who are retired also have an economic background. To lead a joint farm for them is more profitable.
The economic benefits of marriage can also be related to the type of partner chosen. A man who serves in a certain corporation and dreams of a professional career, sometimes stops the choice of a girl who meets the ideas of this corporation about a "worthy spouse" for her prospective employee. It is not a secret for anybody that a wife can play a decisive role in appointing her husband to a higher position. For example, an insurance company, hiring a new employee, may wish to talk with his wife in order to have an idea of her ability to support her husband in his official career, and also readiness to spend long evenings alone when the spouse is busy spreading insurance policies.
For reasons of economic benefit, even the most unhappy marriages are often not disintegrated. One of my colleagues once told me about his life. He fell in love with a woman. She wanted him to divorce his wife. But my colleague knew that the legal wife would do everything possible to deprive him of his means of livelihood. He said that by the time he got a divorce, he would have been without a cent. After reflection, my friend decided not to part with the money. Therefore, he is still married.
Dynastic marriages are often concluded for political reasons. To unite clans, lands, states, and sometimes even military force, the royal advisors of the past spent a lot of time creating a marriage union that would bring the necessary military and political advantages. The bride and groom in such situations turned out to be silent participants in a big political game.
Often, young people first saw each other only at the wedding ceremony.
Marriages for rational reasons in life are quite common. However, in any marriage many people want to know before the wedding which of the spouses will provide money income, which of them is to clean the house. These spouses consider it very convenient for them to have one source of intimate joys, to live, relying on a clear distribution of duties( whether negotiated specifically or established on their own), being married, to bear the burden of economic cares.
Marriages for the sake of convenience, concluded for purely rational reasons, often provide a practical solution to a variety of real problems. They can maintain their strength and stability for a long time, as long as the relationship of the spouses will remain beneficial to both partners.
Marriage can be preserved even when each spouse acts in accordance with the expectations of the other or according to premarital agreement. Then the convenience acquired in a marriage becomes stable. Very often such marriages gradually begin to include elements of romanticism, and the relations of partners develop into true love.