How to become self-confident - how to feel confident
Mar 25, 2018
What does it mean to be confident in yourself as a woman? Many ladies mistakenly believe that it is enough to dress in the most new-fangled things, visit expensive beauty salons, catch the interested views of men.
Undoubtedly, for a woman the appearance and the presence of money make it possible to go through life more confidently, but it often borders on self-righteousness, a desire to boast and contempt for others, which speaks of the vulnerability and illusiveness of this quality, based on external attributes. Undoubtedly, prestigious work, a well-appointed apartment, a bank account allow us to feel more significant and impressive in our own eyes and in the eyes of others. But, if suddenly one day all this entourage disappears, which often happens, what will remain?
Psychologists believe that a woman knows the secret of self-confidence, if she feels comfortable without make-up, jewelry and fashion. For this, the vital vital core is needed, which will not let fall in a difficult moment and bend under the pressure of circumstances. Self-confidence is one hundred percent internal quality, it can be congenital, grafted in the process of education or self-developed.
How to become self-confident? To do this, you need to learn not to run away from problems or shift them to others, but decide for yourself, here and now! The first step to this should be to determine the cause of self-doubt. This can be done through self-discovery or by resorting to the help of a psychoanalyst.
However, even without a psychologist, it is clear that most of our internal problems are rooted in childhood. Somewhere out there, in the labyrinths of our memory and even in the subconscious, one still lives who strongly offended us, adversely influenced us, undermined our inner strength and faith in ourselves.
In that case, safely throw it out of the past, forgive and release it. The ability to forgive is generally inherent in strong natures, self-confident, resentment and rancor - the destiny of the weak."The ghost of the past" will not go away right away, but every day it will become less and less often reminiscent of oneself, gradually growing deeper.
Self-confidence is a matter of
technique It is next necessary to convince yourself that you are self-sufficient, beautiful, intelligent and happy, although this is not at all easy, because often reality blatantly contradicts these statements. Here you can resort to affirmations. Despite some cacophony of the word, it means positive statements requiring repeated repetition, and not subject to doubt. More specifically about affirmations can be found in any book on psychological auto-training.
Having adopted the most suitable for you, convincingly for yourself repeat them several times every day in front of the mirror. In doing so, you need to look directly into your own eyes, which is not always easy. All told, you will not believe at once, but with each day faith in yourself will be stronger and the time will come when you will understand that it is so, you are self-sufficient, intelligent, beautiful and happy!
If you need to look good for self-confidence, you can first start to look at your appearance - lose weight, make a new hairstyle, make-up, buy something from clothes, but these are all just external signs of self-confidence. Suddenly you, so beautiful and stylish, will be nagged by a saleswoman in a dirty apron, and let her be a thousand times worse than you, even though everything is "not right" in her, but for some reason all your confidence disappears somewhere, and you fall in front of her...
Walking in life, laughing
A sense of humor helps not only to control yourself, but also to influence circumstances. I remember Pierre Beaumarchais saying that if he had not always laughed, he would have had to cry all the time. Indeed, a person who has a sense of humor, it is much harder to get mad or offend.
How to feel confident? Yes, you just need to treat everything with good irony, and then you can easily avoid in life and relationships of excessive drama.
For example, your husband left you and all your relatives sympathize with you, and you do not want to limp and show that you are hurt. Joke that he could not stand your singing in the morning in the bathroom. With this character, you will remain alone for a short time, because a light temper attracts people.
Humor is a great way to resolve any conflict. Ability to laugh at your shortcomings and over yourself as a whole disarm people and pre-neutralize possible attacks or acuteness in your address. An ingenious answer that puts the offender in a ridiculous way will reduce the number of people who wish to enter into conflict with you. True, wit should be used carefully, so as not to make yourself superfluous enemies who do not forgive ridicule. A confident woman never needs to raise her voice in order to prove her case or put her opponent in place, just a few witty words.
To become a confident girl, you need to clearly visualize your strengths and weaknesses. From what inspires uncertainty in you, you need to try to get rid, and what, on the contrary, gives confidence - to develop.
Do not take someone's criticism to heart, it's just the opinion of another person and can be mistaken.
Do not be afraid of making a mistake. On mistakes people learn and become wiser.
Learn to refuse, do not let yourself be manipulated, and do only what you want yourself or what you think is necessary.
Learn to love yourself. Your body and soul are unique and it's you!
Set goals and, having reached them, praise yourself. Do not focus on failures and failures, then they will happen less often with you, or you will simply stop noticing them.
Improve yourself. This applies not only to internal qualities, but also to your appearance.
Be always polite and friendly, it disposes people, and you do not get negative emotions.
Always remember that you are in control of your life. Therefore, decide what you should do yourself. People can only accept or not accept your actions, do not be afraid to commit acts that can cause disapproval of others, within the framework of a good upbringing, of course!