Differences in family structure
Based on the distinctive features identified by the Census Bureau, we can define the family as a family based on blood relationship, marriage or adoption, an association of people connected by commonality of life and mutual responsibility for the upbringing of children;family members often live in the same house. Even a preliminary survey of the trends in the evolution of the family in the United States shows that this definition covers the various styles of family life. For example, in a family with a single parent, the mother usually works outside the home, and the children do their homework;in families with two parents - one of them often goes to work, while the other takes care of the children.
To take a deeper understanding of these differences, consider three classic studies of family life in other societies: in rural Ireland, on the Trobriand Islands in the South Pacific and on collective farming in Israel.
Peasant families in West Ireland
Ehrenburg and Kimball( 1948) studied the life of the peasants of western Ireland. They described that in peasant families there are written and unwritten marriage agreements that determine the economic situation, land ownership, family ties and the social status of people."If parents live long enough, they receive old-age pension. It is granted after they transfer their farms to their son or daughter. This is also done on the occasion of his son's marriage. The father leaves room for himself and his wife and an opportunity to use the kitchen, they are provided with all the products. These conditions are discussed in detail in the process of matchmaking, and the parents of the bride willingly agree, realizing that this is the last stage of the farmers' life. If the daughter-in-law receives proper instructions from her mother, then immediately after arriving at her husband's house, she tactfully executes all the directions of her mother-in-law, who still feels at home with her mistress, like a captain on a ship. If her daughter-in-law dared to contradict her, she would be in for a lot of trouble. "
On the basis of such agreements, the wife was a member of her husband's family. Farm, house and household goods were passed from father to son. While his father was alive, he completely controlled the affairs of the whole family. For example, when the local land commissioner distributed work, she was entrusted to the elderly men, although in fact they were carried out by their sons. On the day of the salary the "old people" came to receive money earned by their sons.
The father also directed other aspects of the life of his sons."Boys" 45 and 50 years drained fields or sold cattle at the fair under the guidance of their father, who made all the decisions. As one of the men complained, "while the old man is alive, I always remain a boy".But, despite such complaints, the entire system of these relations was well worked out, "boys" and "girls" successfully adapted to the requirements of the peasant family and coped with their duties. From infancy to 7 years, all children were under the constant supervision of a mother who worked at home or in the field. They felt her support, care and love. After the first Communion at the age of 6-7 years, a clear division between boys and girls was carried out, which influenced their life experience. The boys started working on the farm with their fathers and older brothers. The girls stayed at home with their mothers or other older women - family members. They were taught how to take care of pets, work in the garden and do other housework. Young girls and women performed this work under the guidance of elders.
The clear division of labor according to sexual and age principles did not change even after marriage. Fathers still regarded their married sons as "boys," and married women were usually controlled by their mother-in-law. Marriage also provided for the duties of spouses in relation to other relatives. At the time of marriage each of them took upon himself the obligations of his spouse or spouse in relation to family members or distant relatives. According to the Irish custom of "friendliness", children were sent to help relatives to harvest or to hold a family celebration. Even the most distant relatives could count on shelter and food. While the fulfillment of the generally accepted traditions of "friendliness" was rewarded with praise, failure to perform duties was condemned and often punished."Near P. the owner of a small farm did not cultivate his garden;the father-in-law was forced to send potatoes to the unlucky brother-in-law;in the end, one night, angry relatives of his wife beat him in his own house. "
Residents of the Trobriand Islands
Sociologists often find that behavior that causes contempt in one society can be considered generally accepted among carriers of another culture. The Irish farmers that we talked about would be shocked to learn that among the inhabitants of the Trobriand Islands of New Guinea, the spouses usually count on the support of their wife's relatives. In the Trobriand society, a man usually married the daughter of his father's sister. The newlyweds lived in the village of her husband, but maintained family ties mainly with members of the wife's family. Each family received half or more half of the financial assistance from the wife's brother. The father, who gave his sister's family the bulk of his property, knew that it would go to her daughter, who would marry his son. Thus, as Malinovsky( 1929) explains, his father's property eventually passed to his own son. This custom also ensured that in the old age the father could count on the help of the son and his wife.
Unlike the Irish farmer, who lifelongly led his sons, the husband in the Trobriand family did not control the children. Their education was mainly concerned with the uncle on the part of the mother, he also had the right to demand their help in many cases. Nevertheless, fathers took part in the lives of their children. They cared for babies - they fed, bathed, went out with them to walk. Children often became attached to fathers, although they did not feel a blood connection with them, but rather understood that they were married to their mother.
Islanders deeply believed that the husband is not biologically connected with the children of his wife. In their opinion, pregnancy occurs only for one reason: the spirit-relative of a married woman instills in her body a spirit-child. Kenkel( 1971) explains this as follows: "The inhabitants of the Trobri-Andean Islands came into contact with foreigners, and they know the" missionary chatter "that claimed that conception occurs as a result of sexual intercourse and the man plays an important role in the continuation of the genus. They consider this "theory" to be completely meaningless and provide quite convincing, but not always logically grounded arguments, proving its complete absurdity. For example, several cases were mentioned when the husband was not home for more than a year, and, having returned, he found a newborn baby in the house. Instead of blaming the wives for treason, considered a serious crime among the islanders, the husbands were sincerely glad that the gods-spirits visited the house during their absence. One husband who finds himself in such a situation, considered this a strong proof that sexual intercourse is absolutely not related to the birth of children! "
Kibutzism in Israel
The family structure common among the residents of Israeli collective farms( kibuts) differs significantly from the family structure of societies,about which we spoke. Kibbutzism is based on the belief that in order to achieve true socialism, it is necessary to destroy private property and related institutions, in particular the nuclear family. Thus, the creation of the kibbutz is a social experiment, in which, among other things, an attempt is made to weaken the influence of the nuclear family.
Men and women work for the benefit of the kibbutz and get housing, food, clothing, social services and help in raising children for it. Since their birth, children have been sleeping, eating and studying in so-called children's homes. Although on weekends and vacations they meet with parents, brothers and sisters, their education is handled by the kibbutz. They are taken care of by teachers and teachers appointed by the kibbutz. In addition, children closely communicate with each other and provide emotional support to each other."From their earliest childhood, they are trained to interact independently with one another if adult supervision is negligible or completely absent. If a child gets scared at night or gets sick, other children take care of him - talk to him, give him water, and in the end the baby calms down. .. Very soon the child stops waking up in the middle of the night, feeling safe with other children ".
Although the life in the kibbutz may not be so much ideal, but in the team the child is more likely to gain emotional security than in the nuclear family. In addition, in the kibbutz, children and their parents are well-off financially, since the kibbutz fully meets their basic needs. Older members of the kibbutz are also provided. Their work in old age is encouraged, while at the same time they receive material and medical assistance during illness and disability.
Since the kibbutz carries out many functions of the family, marriage can seem unattractive. However, adult members of the kibbutz consider it an important factor in the organization of intimate life. On its basis, sexual relations are regulated, and of course, as a result of marriage, children are born who are highly valued by kibbutz residents. Therefore it is not surprising that usually at the age of twenty-odd years they marry, soon have children and live together for a long time. Divorce and betrayal are rare. Parents show tenderness towards children who respond to them in the same way. As Schlesinger( 1972) notes, almost everything is considered common in the kibbutz, but personal relationships between parents and children are highly valued.
Although life in the kibbutz may seem ideal, many people leave there, seeking to find their place in the outside world. In the early stages of kibbutzism, university education and income from private enterprise did not possess such an attractive force. To overcome this trend, in kibbutzim began to create additional conveniences and
more to take into account the personal desires of people. For example, although centralized child rearing is still the norm, several groups, by exerting pressure on the parliament, have achieved measures that encourage parents to participate more actively in the upbringing of their children.