The typical mistakes of family education are parents' mistakes in upbringing

Any parent wants to be a good parent. But what does it mean to be good? To hear approval from relatives, friends and just acquaintances? Or to grow an independent moral personality? Definitely the second.

Modern family education is characterized by a number of misconceptions that interfere with being truly good parents. These errors, perhaps, have always been. Each parent brings up his children according to his own understanding, at best referring to the methods of famous teachers, at worst - to the advice of others. And that, and another does not guarantee that your children will not be affected by the typical mistakes of family upbringing. No doubt, it is necessary at least to have an idea of ​​the most frequently encountered educational misconceptions: who is forewarned is armed.

Error 1. Physical violence

Physical punishment is an effective way of acting. Such an educational model is most often elected in families with an authoritarian way of life. It's only in anger that parents forget: violence often leads to psychological trauma, which contributes to aggressive behavior of the child in the future.

Error 2. Excessive coldness

Some parents think that by showing love and emotion in a relationship with a child, they risk educating an egotist and a bully. This is not entirely true, it is important to just know the measure. To deny a child help and support in those moments when he most in need is an incorrect installation.

Quite often indifference to the child is observed in families where parents are busy solving their personal problems. The child is left to himself and is forced to take care of himself. Parents simply do not have enough time to deal with the child, and this naturally affects their authority.

Error 3. Abundance of love

Teachers have long noticed that a child, late born by the mother, most often grows selfish, spoiled. Older parents spare the child, absolutely nothing forbidding, all his whims are performed immediately, and he literally bathes in attention and care. Be wary of making a god out of a child, otherwise you will become only his servants.

Error 4. Many prohibitions

It is not at all surprising that a child wants to satisfy his needs, because this is typical of almost all living beings on the planet. Hardly having begun to realize itself, the child strives to realize his desires: first they are "harmless", but further more.

Even at preschool age, it is important to work out the right reaction to the word "impossible."If you use it too often you can cause two consequences: either the child's attention to the word "impossible" atrophies, and he simply stops responding to it, or the kid becomes afraid of doing something that is "impossible" and grows hammered and indecisive. From the very beginning it is necessary to determine the most binding prohibitions, violating which, the child will harm himself. They should not be much - a maximum of three or four. And it is better that the baby will satisfy curiosity under the supervision of adults, than he will still do it when you are not there, because the forbidden fruit is sweet.

Error 5. No inhibitions

An idol child is another extreme in education. We already talked about permissiveness, when we mentioned the hypertrophied love for the child, but here the situation is different. Parents refuse any prohibitions in principle, consciously choosing such a model of upbringing, also proudly say to others: "I do not forbid my own."

The child is allowed everything, and he actively enjoys his freedom, causing inconvenience and problems to others. Remember that it is the parents who are responsible for including the child in the society, and only with your help will he be able to learn what can and can not be done, how to behave at home, and how on the street.

Often there is a more flattened situation when parents try to ban a child something, but do it very gently, with the help of persuasion, when you need to show firmness and determination. For example, a child in the store begs the mother for another toy, and she explains to him that he already has toys, that there is no money, in general, he thinks up all sorts of excuses, after all, gets tired of moral pressure and buys what the child asks. This behavior is fundamentally wrong: the child will beg for what he wants every time, knowing that he will achieve his goal. You can indefinitely explain to the child something and admonish him, but you can immediately stop the "whining" categorical "no."

Error 6. Inconsistent education

It happens that parents do not withstand psychological stress. Categoricality is replaced by complaisance, punishment - caress. The educational effect of such actions can not be expected. The child needs a consistent and thoughtful upbringing.

As you can see, the typical mistakes of family education are extremes that must be avoided. The surest means is to find a middle ground: somewhere to support and regret, show resilience somewhere, forbid something, and solve something. Yes, this requires an iron endurance and a lot of patience, but no one promised that raising a child would be easy - it is hard work, which requires huge moral and physical expenses from the parents.