Quarrels over toys
"My two-year-old son seems so aggressive during the game. He always pushes other children and takes away their toys from them. "Seems familiar? Mix more children( or at least two) with a bunch of toys in a small room, and here you have a reliable recipe for armed conflict. As for the game, first of all, be sure to understand the difference between aggression, which means invasion of someone else's territory, and self-defense - the protection of its own territory. Sometimes it is difficult to draw a line between these two concepts.
[Jungle Law The first approach is to throw the child into a bunch of other children, and let him fight for survival. The one who fights the hardest and snatches all the toys, will be with toys. This is a paradise for the aggressor. But a calmer child or refuses group games, because he can not resist aggression, or is at the height and gives a rebuff. In other words, the soft becomes hard, and the hard becomes even tougher. As older children say, they passed street science. An aggressive child learns that aggression is beneficial, and a softer child finds out that softness is unprofitable. Mitigate this situation.
Provide your child with the conditions for playing
It's stupid to run your child's game, but you can watch what's going on. The period of ownership, when now and then the "my!" Cries are heard - a normal, fast-moving phase of the game of children of this age, and you can reduce the number of unpleasant conflicts.
Choose comrades in games with mind. If you put two aggressors next to you, the fight is guaranteed, but if it did, sit between them and show how much more interesting it is to play quietly.
Be the referee. Sometimes you need to become a referee: you gave each child a toy, spotted time, and then announced the second round of
( this strategy is called barter exchange): "Now it's time to change toys."
Give an example of softness. To give a good example is especially important if one child throws potentially dangerous objects, such as metal cars. Say: "The machine for rolling it" - showing the child how to play with the typewriter.
You are - to me, I - to you. If your main problem - the unwillingness of the child to share, ask the parents of other children to bring along a few of their own toys when they come to visit you. Use the fact that the grass is always greener with a neighbor: children like to play with other people's toys. As soon as your child grabs the toy of another child, another child will take his toy. Soon he will learn how to give a toy to get a toy. At this stage, owning toys means holding onto the child firmly, and the ability to share does not come easily to him, unless he sees that by giving one toy, he gets another.
Otchachte select. Solve the problem also help if you teach the child to give and take, without snatching.(Give an example, saying "Give to Mom" - when the child is still very small, instead of just quickly or abruptly take away the thing.) Many children do not mind sharing, but against the fact that they are aggressively tearing a toy fromhands. It seems to them that they are deprived of it forever, especially when they see how triumphant are the eyes of a child who has taken possession of their toy.
If quarrels continue, divorce buddies home.
When was the last time you rolled a tantrum? Adults also have hysterics, but we forgive ourselves, writing off that we are releasing steam. When our desire to do or get something or our resentment because we made the wrong decision or lost a valuable thing exceeds our ability to just shrug our shoulders and forget about it, we give our emotions an outlet, stomping our feet, slamming the doors, hurling plates,shaking his fists at the table and emitting angry wails. After that, we feel better( usually) and return to our business. Like children? As adults. Add to this normal behavior of any emotional person the conflicting feelings of a growing child, and you will have everything you need for a child's hysteria.
Two main feelings become the causes of most hysterics. The child has great curiosity and a desire to do something complicated, but often this desire exceeds the ability. This leads to a terrible irritation, which is released during a healthy tantrum. Secondly, the newly acquired skill and desire to be great push the child to a certain action, when suddenly, from somewhere above and, most importantly, the person whom he loves, brings down on him "it is impossible!".To accept the external force opposing it and to accept it is very difficult. This is the conflict with which he can not calmly cope. He wants to be great, but reality tells him how small he is;he is angry, but still has no words to express his anger, so he expresses his actions. Since he is not yet able to cope with emotions by logical reasoning, he chooses his way to cope with the emotions that have accumulated inside him - to show them outside, which we call hysteria.