Admission for child nagging
Mar 29, 2018
• If a child starts whining in a crowded place, he is immediately taken away.
All actions should be performed without comment, anger and moralizing. If nagging began in a crowded place, the child is immediately taken home or left with a nanny.
Adults need to remain firm and calm, but in no case should they show their anger and irritation. At home mom and dad do their own thing or leave the child with a nanny, and they themselves go to the event. In this case, the child clearly understands that the only result of whining is sitting at home.
It is best to make several training exits in crowded places, such as a shop or cafe. Do not start training when you really need to buy something or when you are forced to attend a celebration. At the first signs of whining, be ready to turn around and go along with the child to the exit. Do not need extra words, just go home. Two or three times usually enough to make the child understand what is required of him.
When reading the following example, pay attention to how young parents turned shopping into a lesson of good behavior for their children.
Sam and Karen, together with their children( three and five years old) went to the store. On the way, they explained to the kids that they would go to the store for a short while and asked them to behave themselves and not to demand them to buy cookies and toys: "When we go to the store, please behave yourself. Today we will not buy candy, biscuits and toys. "Thus, the parents explained to the children what kind of behavior they expect from them.
But in the store, the children saw a rack with sweets and began to ask for their favorite treat. Hearing the refusal, the kids began to whine and cry. Sam and Karen immediately took the children by the hands( they planned these actions in advance) and led them to the car. If the parents consider it necessary to explain something( remember that words are not necessary in this situation), you can say: "According to your behavior, you have decided to go home. Let's try again with you to the store next week. "
Sam and Karen correctly used this educational moment, because:
• acted quickly;
• did not shout and get angry;
• minimized explanations and did not intimidate children;
• thought out the plan of action and adhered to it;
• themselves modeled the educational situation when they had enough time;
• provided the children with the opportunity to improve the next time.
It seems that all this is very easy, but in fact, only a few parents know how to react properly to whining. The majority begins to explain their actions, chide the children and show irritation, instead of just taking the child by the hand and taking him home, without forgetting at the same time to express the hope that next time everything will be different.
It is the easiest, of course, for those parents who were brought up, guided by the same principles. For example, a thirty-five-year-old Liz recalls how in her childhood her parents went to town each in their own car. And if she or her sister started to be capricious, then mom or dad immediately took them home.
At home, parents included music or started reading a book, not paying attention to the child's requests to return to the city. They did not chastise or abuse for bad behavior.
According to Liz, parents resorted to such educational reception only several times. Soon she and her sister realized that they would go home at the first signs of whining or disobedience.
Believe that a child who makes a scandal in a crowded place, perfectly understands why he does it. He does not need to explain that he acted badly. Instead of shouting at the kid and teaching, give him time to think about his behavior in a relaxed atmosphere( that is, at home).This is the case when the consequences of actions are more eloquent than any words.
What to do if the child is squashed in a crowded place.
Do not pay attention to the discontented views of others.
Do not yield to the requirements, even if you are confused.
Plan an exit to the city in advance and try to prepare for it. Think about how quickly to take the child out of bed and go home.
If you need to finish a business( for example, pay for purchases), then act quickly, not paying attention to tears and whining.