Mar 21, 2018
Sometimes there are such grandmothers who are used to despotically dispose of their daughter, and she can not stop them even now, when she herself became a mother. Such a young mother in the first time will not be easy. She is afraid of advice. They are hers, but she is afraid to show her feelings. If she takes advice, feels oppressed, if she rejects it - guilty. How can a beginner mother defend herself in such a situation? As if she had to lift herself by the hair. In a way, it's and , but it's better to master this skill gradually and in practice. First of all, she must constantly remind herself that now she is a mother, that this is her child, that she needs to think and take care of him. She should be able to get support from a doctor or a visiting nurse if she doubts her methods. She definitely should count on the support of her husband, especially if his mother intervenes. If he believes that in certain situations the rights of his mother, he must tell the wife about it, but at the same time show the mother that he supports his wife and protects her independence.
A young mother needs to learn not to avoid her grandmother. It's not to be afraid of her words, because both of these reactions betray her weakness, her inability to resist. It's even harder to learn not to accumulate anger inside and not to explode unexpectedly. You can say that the young mother's anger is justified. But both pent-up anger and unexpected explosions are signs that she was too long subordinate for fear of anger her grandmother. The powerful granny usually observes these signs of shyness and uses them. If you have to anger her, a young mother should not be afraid of it. In fact, she will not need to find out the relationship - and if she has to, then no more than once or twice. The young mother must learn to assert her rights, she must carelessly, confidently say before she gets angry: "So the doctor told me to feed my child," or "You know, I do not want the child to overheat," or "I do not want, that he cried too long. "Such a calm, confident tone is usually the best way to convince a grandmother that the mother has the courage to defend her beliefs.
In those rare cases when a constant tension is created and maintained, parents, and maybe grandparents, too, it is worth consulting with a specialist - a wise family doctor, psychiatrist, social worker, reasonable priest - preferably separately so that everyone can present the picture in such a way, as he sees it, although for the final decision will have to come together all together. It should always be borne in mind that the ultimate responsibility and the right to make decisions belong to the parents.