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  • Preschoolers: senior and junior

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    While the child was alone in the family, he was the center of attention of mom and dad. But he turned 3 years old and had a brother. Of course, parents are very busy with diapers, bottles, etc. With the elder, now they play much less.

    And the child( in terms of the game) can simply "get stuck" on what he already knows( especially if he does not attend kindergarten, where the special effects of the teacher, communication with peers promote him in the game forward).

    The kid grows up, he is 2 years old, and the older one - 5. And here we often meet with a typical mistake of the parents. Their play with children in everything is aimed at the younger - it corresponds to its capabilities. For the elder, parents believe, other activities are needed. Mom reads to him books appropriate to age, introduces the letters. The pope is aimed at including the child in productive, useful pursuits( he teaches him to handle tools - saws, hammers, etc.), is concerned about the physical development of the boy. The child seems to be not deprived of the attention of adults, soon he will learn to read, and his game has remained at the level of simple actions with toys.

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    But the gaming interests of a 5-year-old child are still stronger than interest in other activities, and without proper play with an adult, his independent game reproduces the game samples for a small one.

    In fact, when a mother plays with a baby, the older child also connects to their game( he also wants to play, especially with an adult).And since Mom tries to make her actions understandable to the baby, her game is simple.

    The older child either reproduces samples of mother's actions, or, trying to draw her attention and to herself, unconsciously imitates the actions of the younger one. As a result, both( both 2-year-olds and 5-year-olds) play almost the same.

    Naturally, this situation is unlikely to affect positively the development of a 5-year-old child.

    Of course, we described the last resort. But how can you avoid such a situation?

    First of all, we need to think about the possibilities of organizing gaming interaction, communicating the older child with peers( inviting neighbor children, children of the same age with whom the child contacts during walks).You can not allow him to lock up only on the game with the younger.

    And how should parents behave when playing with children? They must build the game in such a way as to equip the older child with playing skills appropriate to his age, his abilities.

    This can be done individually, so that the baby is not a hindrance. After all, there are times when mom is alone with the older child( and at this time one should not confine oneself to serious studies with him).

    For joint play with the child, you should use the techniques that we proposed in previous chapters. Having mastered in the game with an adult the complex ways of constructing a story game, the child will later use them also when developing an independent joint game with a toddler.

    Here, for example, Sasha( he is the sixth year), with whom many adults played, well manages in the game and brother Zhenya( to him soon 3), and sister Manyasha( she still does not have 2), and this does not prevent him from playing himself.

    To the wife he offers:

    - What do you want to play? Let's go to the hospital. I'm a doctor, and you're a driver. You got sick and stopped at the hospital. Let's give you a shot.

    With Manyasha - another game:

    - Here's a plate, a cup. Drink tea!

    - Come on, grandma called you on the phone. Here, take the phone. I'm a grandmother!

    - Ale! Hello, Manyasha!

    Little Masha answers as best he can, and then manipulates toys.

    Mom can organize and play together children, participating in it as an equal partner with the older child( that is, as if replacing his peer), focusing more on his capabilities than on the ability of the baby.

    But for this, she should be well aware of how children play with each other 5-6 years old( the age of her older child), what difficulties they may have in a joint game, what skills a child should have in order to cope with them.

    We can not provide for each specific case, but for the adult to understand how he can get involved in the game, we will describe a typical situation of the game of two children of the senior preschool age( the sixth year of life) who were in the company of the child( about 3 years).How do they behave themselves?

    Older children start the game in the store. One of them is the seller, the second is the buyer.

    Babe, after watching a little bit behind the game of older children, gets attached to the seller: he has such a tempting toy - scales - with which the little one does not mind playing.

    - Do not touch the scales, - the seller says, - this is for the seller. You, too, buy. Get in the queue.

    The Kid stands behind another older child, who discusses with the seller what is in the store and how much it costs.

    But now the baby's turn came.

    - Here's a watermelon, "says the salesman and hands him the ball." Pay 20 kopecks. "Well, you do not understand?

    Puzzling baby causes a number of explanations from the older child:

    - This is a mosaic, this is our money. Give me two. Everything you already bought, now go home!

    But the thought of the watermelon revived him, and he leaves the counter on time:

    - Come on - you cut it into pieces. It is a knife( takes a stick sticks next to it and "cuts" watermelon).

    - I myself, - the kid says, repeating the actions of the older child.

    - Feed your children now, - suggests another senior child, who is tired of staying idle.

    The Kid starts feeding the dolls, and the older children unfold their story further.

    So, well-played children connect the baby to a secondary role, explain to him during the game how to behave in accordance with the role, explain the significance of substitute subjects, so that he behaves according to the meaning of the game, and if possible switch it to a game with the plottoys so that it is busy. This game suits everyone. Baby does not bother anyone, but does not feel restrained.

    In the same way, in principle, the mother should act, playing simultaneously with the older and younger child.

    Its main focus should be on the older child, with whom she interacts as an equal partner, and the younger she can offer to do the same thing that she does( also be a buyer, a passenger, etc.).Let the younger so long will not be an active participant in the game, but an accomplice.

    From its role, the mother activates the actions of the older child, introduces more complex content into the game( through role dialogue, deployment of events).The youngest child, although assigned a play role, only imitates his mother or performs specific instructions from older players in the game. He learns from the interaction of the mother and older brother( from this visual pattern) what can, -conditional use of objects in the game, the correlation of certain actions with the game name themselves( learns to take a role).

    In this game, both children develop fully. After the game it is important to encourage the elder( "how interesting we were with you").If the mother encourages all the time only the behavior of the baby, the older child can slip into more primitive ways of playing( same as the younger one), because he also wants praise.

    If the age gap between children is very large, of course, the overall game can not be built. But, for example, if the youngest child is about 2 years old, and the older child is soon 6, it is sometimes useful to involve her specially for the game with the baby.

    Here the kid has quarreled and demands attention of mum. You can ask for an older child:

    - Mashenka, help me. Play a little with Dima. Feed the puppets with him or treat them.

    The girl starts playing with the baby, copying the actions of her mother, which she had previously observed.

    Of course, do not abuse this help, turning an older child into a nanny. He must have time for his own game, other activities.

    The attitude of parents to older children as nannies is often passed on to a toddler who begins to behave simply like a small tyrant without leaving his older brother or sister for a minute alone. It is necessary to accustom the child to respect the independent activities of the older child.

    We will not dwell on how to organize a joint game with children-pogodkami. A careful reader has already guessed, probably, how this can be done. All the techniques recommended in the previous chapters can easily be transformed for a game not with one child, but with two if there is only one year difference between them.

    Indeed, if children already have role behavior( 3-4 years), the mother can easily combine them in the game. Often both children want to play the same role in the game. Then the mother can take on an additional role and interact with the children in turn( for example, the children are "chauffeurs" and the mother is the "passenger" then one or the other).Adult can offer children to play and otherwise, taking a leading role, and giving them the same additional( buyers in the store, sailors on the ship, etc.).

    In games with a more complex role system, you can already distribute them among all participants using a counting line, a rule of priority, etc.

    Describing the game as a "notion" with older preschoolers, we have already pointed out that it can be performed by adults not only with one, but also with 2-3 participants. For children, this is further useful - they learn to coordinate their plans with several partners at once. In this situation, conflicts are also more pronounced( one child wants to deploy a story in a certain direction, but the other does not like it).Against this background, it is easier for an adult to demonstrate to children ways of settling conflicts.