Understand the person
Another major mistake of education is a child's misunderstanding. Where does it come from? Probably because parents do not want to look into the spiritual world of their children, from employment, from the idea that children can not and should not have their own world. Be that as it may, we often do not understand children and, unfortunately, even more often we do not want to understand.
G. Danailov in his book "Do not Kill Mozart" tells about a typical situation of misunderstanding.... The boy broke an expensive crystal vase and was cruelly punished for it. But he did not know what his fault was."Riding his wand, he raced on a motorcycle, the wand hit the vase, she fell to the floor. The fault is, first, a motorcycle or a horse - the horse is stupid and did not turn on time, and secondly. .. Secondly, the expression: "Do you know how much this vase costs?" - does not mean anything. The child does not know and does not want to know. .. ยป
Adults often transfer their knowledge and abilities to the child, although this can not be done because we live with children in different time dimensions. For a child today, a broken vase tomorrow is already forgotten - he has so many events( and all the very important ones) going on for a day, that the day can be equated to our year. And if the child is punished not immediately after the perfect protopka( even the misdemeanor), and after a day or two, no longer binds the punishment to the cause. Inability or unwillingness to penetrate the child's world, ponies, etc. leads to serious conflicts much more often, it seems to us. Here's a kid, sticking out his tongue out of zeal, and giving a gift to Mom - draws a picture. He already presents, he already anticipates how Mom will be pleased, as he poured it, he is all in a happy impatience. But. .. Mummy comes and, without seeing the child's radiant eyes, with a sheet-drawing, suddenly starts to scold him( or even spanked for what is on the shirt and pants, today only dressed, stains from paint, some blots. In the absence of an explanation of the reason( or even an explanation, but not perceived by the child), his joy and happiness of communication were trampled down by the person most dear to him.