How are you, kid?

It's good that we are not allowed to hear what is happening in the next apartment, and even more so - in the next entrance. Otherwise, every morning we would hear a deafening roar, or a quiet whine, or a bitter sob-in a word, a wailing cry of children gathered by parents into a kindergarten. Sometimes, someone is lucky - and kindergarten is nothing, and the teacher is not stupid. So sometimes it even starts to seem that in general everything is fixable: a bright tomorrow will come, educators will be added twenty, all will be pleased and cheerful - flowers will bloom in the kindergarten.

You can still introduce self-financing, you can make all kindergartens departmental or replace all departmental co-operatives, you can allow parents and children to choose a teacher. .. But let's look at the kindergarten as a phenomenon that does not depend on the good Marya Petrovna, ordinary Tatyana Pavlovna or angryAnna Ivanovna. Let's look at the kindergarten from the point of view of the child. What is it for our son or daughter? Job? But in the country an eight-hour working day, not from 7 am to 7 pm. Recreation? Tried one of the parents to rest for at least a month in one room with thirty neighbors? Do not want to try? But this is so fun, so interesting, you will always have a massively entertainer, he will teach and weave macrame, and knit, and walk in pairs for a walk, teach you how to sing, dance, love animals. .. Do not you want to? And the children do this - and a year, and two, and three, and even without leave, because in the summer they go with a kindergarten to the dacha where they "rest" and do it around the clock. A person is a social being, but not a herd, one can not always be in public, he must sometimes be alone.

Now they are talking about the fact that inmates of orphanages lag behind in development because, in particular, they can not retire for mental work. But tell me, what is the fundamental difference between the life of a parent child with his constant route nursery - a garden - an extension and an orphan life? Do we have to be surprised at the parents of a sixteen-year-old teenager that they do not understand each other that the guy is somebody else's? All in fact to it went! In the spring-winter-osenyo, he was educated in public, and in the summer he gave Mom-pape a rest, went to the camp, so they really do not know much - parents and their accelerator child;seniors do not know how to talk with a child, he does not know how to communicate with adults. Of course, the educator, if he really tries, will have time to wipe his nose, but do not say the same "heart-to-heart" with the four-year plan: - yes, and what a soul he has there!

So, the first: the joint permanent residence of thirty-odd children - it's also a mental load on the child. No teacher, even a genius, here will not save.

Second: if a child rarely sees his parents, they understand each other worse, spiritual closeness is lost."Simplifying" the life of the family now, this "separateness" will respond to acute problems in the future, which promised to be happy: "That will grow. .."

We write a lot about charity, or rather about its absence in relation to the elderly. Reading about this, I always want to ask: did not go to a kindergarten( meaning a bad kindergarten) that former girl who is now sending her mother to a nursing home? Went? So what is the demand for it? Well, at that time Mom had a lot of important things to do, the child was interfering with her;now the daughter's work, then yes, that's where the old woman is getting confused under her feet. Is it really bad in "DE DDO ME"( and such a word has now appeared)!There care, there are its peers, and we will visit. Causes and consequences do not necessarily stand side by side, sometimes they are separated by long years, but children and really our future, it's not just a phrase.

I was told by a woman, how in the morning a five-year-old baby cried: "Mom, beat me so I wanted to go to the kindergarten."And after all, she took him there anyway, her heart did not burst. Of course, the baby will get used. But at the same time he decides that you can not pay attention to the tears of a loved one!

Third: constant communication with peers creates difficulties for the child when he finds himself among people of different ages. He can offend the younger, does not understand that in him good - so stupid, can not do anything, but climbs! He simply was not taught to understand this! Well, he himself is easily influenced by the elder - he is used to being commanded: "Ivanov, do not lag behind!" Are you sure that the dictates of the elders will always be with a plus sign?

Fourth: a kindergarten child is turned off from family life, he does not know her joys and worries, he is used to being served. Someone bought food, someone cooked dinner, someone removed from the table - the child is not concerned. In the family, especially in a large family, the problem of labor education is decided differently. My children know: the sausage does not grow in the refrigerator, and the loaves do not have legs, they will not come home. Have not had time to buy bread - then we'll sit down to eat without it. I went to work - they will cook, and utensils will be washed, and the baby will be changed. I do not know whether to consider it productive or socially useful, but I am convinced: both boys and girls will benefit from the ability to cook porridge and bake pie, wash baby panties and change sand to the cat. Six-year-old Manya runs from the street: "Mom, do we have money? There are cherries, I took a turn. "She is already helping me: she showed initiative and foresight - she took the turn, and thought about the money, and about the fact that cherries are a common pleasure, and she frees me from standing in line.

Fourteen-year-old son is fond of technique and with pleasure whipping with an egg mixer for a cake, which thirteen-year-old Nastya bakes on a book. Nothing unusual - we always live like this, we have common concerns, I do not share even these cares-with the guys, and we do one thing, that's all.

Fifth: illness. Once I made an attempt to give my one-year-old son to a nursery. The boy stayed there for two half a day, and at night we called an ambulance. Then I decided: "I'd rather be sitting with a healthy person than with a sick person."All mums sit from time to time with the sick kid, and everyone knows how difficult it is with him: he is capricious, and he cries, and does not eat, and does not sleep - you will suffer. And my children, of course, are ill, but not so often, although there are their difficulties - they suffer from wholesale.

As for the "full" education in kindergartens, it usually reduces to drawing pictures, memorizing creepy poems on artistic merits and absolute lack of response to the words of an adult. The latter is natural: if a child can preserve mental health in the life that he lives up to school, then only a constant resistance to the environment. When the eldest son went to school, he was amazed: "Mom, the teacher said that you need to stand next to your desk after the call. Why are they all running and screaming? "And because, on the one hand, the child is accustomed to skip the adult's words by the ears, and on the other hand, has got used to obey only a shout.

So, maybe, we admit, at last: the kindergarten in the form in which it is now, is bad in principle, and no increase in salaries for teachers will solve the problem. Well, do not give your children there? I think it's better not to give, if there is even the slightest opportunity to leave a son or daughter at home, in the family. The kindergarten is an extreme case. Extreme! And now there is a different view: a kindergarten is a norm, and at the same time it is obligatory, the child is said to be good there.

The usual situation: there is a second child in the family, the mother will be at home with him for a year and a half, but the elder will go to the garden anyway: "I find it difficult with two!" I have five, none of them ever went to kindergarten, and neither grandmothers, not to say the nannies were not there. I think I have the right to say: it is not very difficult, much easier than with one, and if it is a little more difficult, is it not more correct to take this load, this difficulty on yourself, rather than pushing aside?

In the group of 30 children - at least ten of them could not go to the garden. Then it would be easier for the remaining ones, and for the educator: of course, the problem would not be solved completely, but still it would lose any sharpness, moreover, without additional costs.

And yet: often a woman changes her profession and goes to the garden as a tutor to get her baby there, an absurd way out! All the same, after all, it changes the profession, so is it not better to change it for such a one to be all day with your own child, and work, for example, in the evening when the husband comes home from work? Or at home, or by contract, or somehow. I am constantly told: "How difficult it is for you!", So I have only five, besides my own, and the tutor has 30 - and strangers! Even though a thousand rubles a month are paid, the children will not receive their mother's warmth. And even if your among these 30, it's generally immoral: to caress him a little more in front of the unskilled - it's bad, but not caressing, shoving away like a stranger - what for?

And the first, and the second, and the fifth are all the minuses, and plus one for the kindergarten - my mother works quietly until the child either works, whether resting, whether raised, or observed. In general, he lives happily.

But is it really so easy for all mothers who "handed over their children"?On what column will we calculate their nervousness, torn off by colleagues and customers of laundries, bus passengers?

The alternative I see to the current kindergarten is only family. Mom-dad, brothers-sisters, engaged in common cause, education of each other. All of them are firmly and firmly bound by common life, common work, common love.