The influence of premarital behavior on the stability of a young family
Recently, the attention of sociologists, demographers, psychologists is increasingly attracted by a young family. This is due to a number of circumstances. In the first years of marriage, a model of future family relations is formed-the distribution of power and responsibilities, spiritual ties between spouses, parents and children-there is a complex process of adapting husband and wife to each other, determining the nature of the main conflicts and ways to overcome them. The decision on the number of children in the family and the intervals between births is also often taken during the initial period of family life, which means that the study of the young family has a direct bearing on the problems of fertility.
Statistics and sample surveys indicate that about 20% of all divorces are in families that have existed for less than two years. At the same time, since the adoption of the decision on divorce by the spouses before the application is submitted to the court, and then to formal dissolution of the marriage, quite a long time passes, ie, in fact, marriages break up much earlier.
The difficulties in the relationships of the young spouses are due, in our opinion, primarily due to the fact that in the modern family the patterns of behavior of the husband and wife are becoming less rigid. There is a departure from regulated forms of role interaction: family relationships, ways of organizing it are often determined by the situation and depend on the inclinations, abilities and abilities of each member of this community. In the past, traditional patterns of behavior of the husband-father and the mother-wife prevailed, when the man performed the role of head of the family, her breadwinner and the carrier of social status, and the woman was the keeper of the home, mistress and teacher of children. Now, as a result of the massive involvement of women in productive activities, the growth of their education, the widespread dissemination of ideas of equality, the husband and wife often have roughly the same social status and earnings, participate equally in making family decisions. At the same time, the society functions about family roles and responsibilities of spouses, which do not correspond to reality: on the one hand, the expectations of a certain part of the population are connected with the traditional family;on the other - there is an opinion about the direct equality of men and women in the performance of most family functions.
The issue of preparing young people for family life is very acute now. Previously, the parent family successfully coped with this task. However, at present, the sample of relations adopted in it can not often be used by children without some adjustment. In addition, many young people spend the most important period of life outside the home - in student or working dormitories, in this respect, adopting completely different norms on the basis of which settings are formed.
In the Soviet sociological literature, the reasons and motivations for divorce were studied in detail. As a rule, they are analyzed regardless of the duration of the marriage. Meanwhile, the factors of destabilization of the family vary significantly, depending on the stage of its life activity. The drunkenness of one of the spouses, the violation of marital fidelity, the presence of another family are more characteristic, in our opinion, for decaying pairs with long experience. The stability of the young family is significantly influenced by factors that exist, more often in an implicit form, even at the time of marriage. This is primarily the personal characteristics of the newlyweds, the conditions for marriage, the various types of pre-marital behavior of future spouses. Often, the disintegration of short-lived alliances is associated with the ideal expectations of young people about the future of marriage, frivolous attitude towards him, lack of knowledge of the partner. An important "risk factor" is also the forced marriage due to pregnancy of the bride or under the pressure of the parents.
Table 1 Distribution of marrying by duration of courtship,%
Brides, apparently, for purely moral reasons, somewhat extend this period.
Table 2 Causes of conflicts between the future spouses in the premarital period,%
The main objective of our study1 was to identify the possible possible factors of destabilization of family life( going spouses, based on the analysis of Soviet and foreign studies of families of varying degrees of well-being and divorcing couples, the characteristics of those entering Iraq, which can have a negative impact on the stability of the young family.
It is known that the duration of dating should be regarded as one of the important indicators of readiness for marriage. As revealed during the survey, among the divorced couples with a short period( less than 6 months) of premarital dating is much higher than among those who continue to live in marriage. This is due to the fact that in modern society family roles are much less regulated than in the past, and the success of marriage depends more on the personal compatibility of partners. Therefore, the period during which the future spouses find out each other becomes more and more important. Meanwhile, among those surveyed, the proportion of those entering into marriage after a short period of courtship was high( see Table 1).
The absence of common interests and interests is often the reason for the dissolution of marriage. Apparently, this circumstance does not exert direct influence on the adoption of a decision on divorce, but by limiting the joint leisure activities of the spouses and the sphere of their communication among themselves, it weakens their spiritual closeness and thus affects the strength of the conjugal ties. Among those surveyed, only 30% of the bridegrooms and 40% of brides, when answering an open question, could name those hobbies and interests that they and their partners have in common. The greater part of those who enter into marriage do not know this side of the personality of their future spouse, which can subsequently adversely affect the development of the relationship of the newlyweds.
The study also aimed to identify the frequency and causes of conflicts during courtship. According to our data, the bride and groom quarrel quite often( see Table 2).In some respects, these disagreements may have a positive impact on the success of a future marriage, since they subsequently facilitate the matrimonial adaptation. At the same time, the area of unresolved problems may become a source of serious conflicts in the future. Foreign researchers point out that disagreements in the pre-marital period are correlated with the early occurrence of the first married conflicts, which often lead to a rupture.
Now it can be considered established that pre-marital pregnancy is a "high risk" factor in terms of the success of a future marriage, and especially in cases where the spouses are very young. The necessary period of courtship and preparation for the wedding is shortened, young people are not psychologically ready for marriage. In addition, they are often economically insolvent and need the support of parents or are forced to interrupt their studies. According to our research, at the time of marriage, the bride was pregnant in 9% of couples according to the answers of brides and in 14% - according to the responses of the suitors.
Significant influence on the nature of the emerging relationship between future spouses is provided by their attitudes and expectations about family life. The mismatch of installations can cause serious conflicts, especially at the initial stage of a joint life. We looked at attitudes in those areas of family life, where, according to previous studies, there are often disagreements between spouses. First of all, due to the change in the status of women in society, the necessity of combining production and family roles, the importance of an equitable distribution of household responsibilities between spouses increases. Families in which an egalitarian model of the distribution of household duties and the installation of a husband and wife are adopted in this respect coincide, are more stable.
The majority of the pairs that we surveyed have the same distribution of duties in everyday life( 76%), while in 59% of the cases the pairs are oriented to the same household load of men and women. However, quite a few couples( 24%), in which the bride and groom have different opinions on this matter. And if in cases where the girl is oriented on a more traditional model( 7%), the disagreements can be easily resolved, in the case of such orientation of the young man( 17%) serious conflicts in the young family are possible.
The views of the bride and groom on the issue of power in the family are important from the point of view of the success of a future marriage. Most of the suitors( 78%) and brides( 89%) are focused on the egalitarian style of relations. As shown by the analysis of couples, the greatest discrepancy is observed in cases when the groom believes that the head of the family should be a man, and his bride is oriented to the separation of "family power"( 22% of pairs).In 27% of cases, there is a divergence of the views of those entering into marriage in the very interpretation of the principle of egalitarianism: one of the partners would like to discuss all the problems jointly, the other considers it necessary to separate the "spheres of influence." However, in our opinion, such disagreements can not be a strong destabilizing factor. Only 4% of couples prefer an authoritarian style of relations in a modern family.
In connection with the question of the preferred type of family and the corresponding structure of power, the views of future husbands and wives about the professional career of a woman are of particular interest. As a rule, if a woman actively participates in professional activities, she also enjoys greater rights in solving major family problems. The question of the extent to which a woman should devote herself to family or work is often the subject of disputes between spouses. Apparently, opinions on this matter should be agreed upon before the wedding. The majority of respondents in our study believe that a married woman should work, but not at the expense of the interests of the family( 46% of brides and 61% of bridegrooms).At the same time, in 52% of cases the attitudes of future spouses diverge: for example, in 41% of the pairs of girls are oriented toward professional activity in a greater degree than would be desirable to the grooms.
One of the important spheres of the family's life is the organization of leisure. Rational use of free time, as is known, contributes to the stabilization of relations between spouses. Studying families of varying degrees of well-being has shown that successful marriages are characterized by joint leisure activities, with both husband and wife oriented toward it. Therefore, the divergence of views between the groom and the bride regarding free time organizations in the future may entail serious conflicts. An analysis of the corresponding orientations in our study revealed a discrepancy between opinions: brides much more often prefer to spend leisure outside the home than the grooms( in 20% of cases);at the same time in 26% of couples future husbands want to be able to rest in their spare time separately from their wives. In 19% of cases the attitudes of the bride and groom completely differ, which can not but cause in the future differences between them.
The study also aimed to identify the extent to which marriages are informed about marriage and family problems from special sources. Only 15% of young men and 11% of girls are familiar with special popular science literature, they listened to lectures on family and marriage 5 and 3% respectively. This once again shows the need to extend measures to prepare young people for marriage;Literature on family life, more active propaganda should become more accessible.
Thus, the study of those who entered into marriage allowed them to identify some characteristics that could affect the emergence of conflicts in the early years of marriage and its success. The study is only the first stage of the implementation of the program for the study of a young family. In the future it is proposed to distinguish the types of families that differ in the degree of success of marriage in order to determine the influence of premarital behavior and relationships, as well as the organization of family life, on the success of marriage. This will identify the most destabilizing factors. The solution of this task, in addition to the scientific one, is of great practical importance from the point of view of developing a program for preparing young people for family life.