A quarrel with a child

So, you quarreled with your child. Perhaps you behaved with dignity, perhaps - no( after all, you are only a person).But if you are the right parents, probably everything is not so bad anyway. And yet it turned out that your child showed himself not on the best side and was sent to his room.

What's next? This is very important, and I wrote a special rule about it, because I know such parents who are absolutely wrong here. If after a while the child returns to them embarrassed, repentant, to ask for forgiveness, they again begin to repeat how badly he behaved. Naturally, the child responds bristling again, again begins to wrangle and again goes, punished, to his room. Or the parents generally stop talking to him and continue to be angry in silence.

In either of these options, you do not let the child get rid of the bad feelings that are pressing on him. Recently I heard one father say to his son: "The main thing is not to ask for forgiveness, but not to do more of this."Of course, this is true, but you should not say such words at the moment when the child wants to stop the quarrel with you and asks for forgiveness. At that moment, I saw with my own eyes how poor the kid was upset, because I felt that I could not do anything with the problem.

The most important thing is to let the child understand that you still love him, and also that it makes sense to ask for forgiveness and try to change your behavior. If you still continue to be angry with him, what's the point of him doing something? So, when your dispute is over, let the child know that your love for him has not disappeared, and you are always ready to embrace him again. And we are always glad to accept his apologies and the realization that you are both to some extent responsible for the quarrel.

THE MOST IMPORTANT - TO GIVE A CHILD TO UNDERSTAND THAT YOU ALL LIKE HIM LOVE.

Of course, you can be absolutely right, believing that you need to return once again to discussing the controversial situation - its causes or its behavior in this regard. But you do not need to do this right now. Leave the discussion for later, when your relationship will again be good. If the child is already old enough, you can tell him that you will talk about it later, or come back to the discussion when you are alone with him, for example, in a car( where he will have nowhere to go) or in the evening before going to bed. Only necessarily together, and not in the presence of people who do not have a relationship with the problem - other members of the family, friends, and even more so - outsiders.