Playing and organizing the behavior of the child

In the previous chapters, we focused on how to gradually create increasingly complex ways of playing games for children so that the game becomes a means of developing the child. And now we would like to talk about how you can use the game in organizing the child's daily life.

There are almost no parents who would not have experienced difficulties in organizing the child's behavior, especially in connection with the daily recurring mandatory regime elements. Often, it is in these situations that the interests of the child and the adults who raise him are sharply divergent.

What is the most important thing for moms, dads, grandparents? To the child in time and well ate, slept, was warmly dressed, enough time spent on the air. And these are really necessary conditions for the normal development of the child. On how the child eats, what air breathes, depends on his health, physical development. It is known that "in a healthy body, a healthy mind".

But the child does not always consider this the main thing. Moreover, for him it is often the most difficult and even unpleasant things in his life.

We quoted the statements of the children about what they most like to do.

- Play, - answered the children unanimously.

And now we will continue the interview:

- What do not you like to do most of all?

That's what the children answer:

- Go to bed!

- There is soup and soup!

- Take pills!

- Drip in the nose!

- Wash your ears!

- Get dressed for a walk!

- Remove the toys!

- Lace up the shoes!

- Lay out and clean the bed!

Why do not children like to do all this?

It's unpleasant to drip into the nose. Unpleasant, from the point of view of the child, it is even unfair when adults watch television, read books, or gather together for evening tea, but they want a good night and put out the light in the nursery.

Children, as a rule, in their own way struggle with such injustice, delay an unpleasant moment. The techniques that they use are known to all parents( "Mom, I want to drink", "I'm not ate enough for dinner today, give me something to chew on," "I want to pot," etc.).

Boring of lacing shoes, cleaning toys.

- Play something interesting and fun. And then, when I remove the toys, I miss them. That's so long!- complains 5-year-old child.

The content of cases that children do not like is very different, but they can all be divided into two categories: unpleasant and boring.

The adult can not get rid of them from the child in any way( from the first - from reasons of utility for health, from the second - from reasons of educational).

You can not get rid of it, but you can sometimes attract a game. On the question of how the game can alleviate the sometimes painful procedures for the child and brighten up boring things, we now stop.

Using the game to organize the behavior of the child, of course, we must take into account the nature of the activity and the age of the child.

For the younger preschooler, all unpleasant procedures( dripping drops, eating soup, etc.) can be accompanied by playing( especially if the child is unwell, has a bad appetite, etc.).

A child does not like to be soaped in a bath. Let him and his little animals wash with him. This will distract the baby and make bathing more enjoyable.

It's time to go to bed - let the baby download the dolls and animals. The telecast "Good night, kids" can also become a ritual that makes it easier to put to bed. But even better, if the kid knows that when he is washed and will lie in bed, his mother will tell him a tale for the night.

The baby has a bad appetite - put a doll or a teddy bear next to the table:

- Look, Teddy bear, how Seryozha today eats well. ..

But the kid has grown up, and now you can "fight" with soup a little differently:

-will you see the bottom of the plate? "- asks the pope.

Dad eats slowly, and the son tries to act with a spoon with him in unison.

This is all business from the discharge of unpleasant. But there are simply difficult and boring things. For a preschooler, this is, above all, what concerns self-service.

Earlier, my mother laced boots, buttoned up buttons, and now I have to do it myself. At first it's not so easy.

While the child is just learning the skills of self-service, you can enter his actions into the game context. Let the buttons on his coat become "alive":

- Look, every button should fall into your house. ..

Dressing the kid can be accompanied by a suitable poem:

Masha made a mitten.

- Oh, where do I put my finger on?

I do not have a finger, I'm missing,

I did not get into my house. ..

But the child has learned to put on pantyhose, to lace up shoes, to button up buttons. All the same, he does it still slowly, he is bored with it. Here he put on half the pantyhose and froze - outside the window something interesting is happening, caught a book with pictures. And my mother is angry:

- I have already gathered for a long time, can not you do it quickly!

And you can just start differently so that you do not have to get angry:

- Dressing for a walk. I count to five. Who will dress earlier - you or me?

In all boring cases( which the child already knows how to do, but does slowly), you can make a competitive moment: you can compete with an adult

or just with time( in the form of an hourglass, for example).

"Who is faster?" Is one game. The second game - "Who is more accurate?".She already refers to such cases, where the child becomes an adult's assistant.

Cleaning toys is a lot of trouble for parents. You can bring the child to this child under 4 years old with the help of the game:

- Have you already transported the machines? A little bit more? Well, now everything, it's time to go to the garage. Here on the shelf they have a garage. We went to the garage.

After 4 years the child should treat order in his toy farm as a compulsory business. At this age, you should not turn everything into a game. It is necessary that the child is able to overcome himself, performing uninteresting, from his point of view, deeds.

- Today I will not play with you, - says grandmother 5-year-old Ane. - Yesterday we played together with you, and I cleaned the toys alone. I do not want that anymore. Play alone. If then there will be an order in your room, then tomorrow I'll play with you.

This is a very effective and reasonable punishment for the child.

You can also use indirect censure:

- Perhaps we should not buy Katya more toys. She apparently has a lot of them, she can not cope with their cleaning. Look, everything is scattered in her room, - Mama turns to her father in the presence of the child, as if not noticing him.

But one thing is to organize today the correct behavior of the child, and the other - to educate him so that he himself would like to be kind, fair, accurate, brave( and not only today, but always).

It is known that direct teaching, instructive conversations with children about how they should be, how they should behave in certain situations, do not always bring success, as well as condemnation of their actions.

- You did not behave well for a walk today, - Mama reprimands his son, - did not let Masha ride a bicycle. She, too, wants to, but she does not.

- And the way her mother will buy it, - the child answers and believes that the issue is exhausted.

In the studies of psychologist SG Yakobson it is shown that for the successful moral development of a preschool child, he needs to juxtapose himself simultaneously with two patterns of behavior - positive and negative, and these patterns are most effective if they are clothed in the form of full-blooded, holistic characters.

Buratino-good, good, and Karabas - greedy, bad. Most of the children want to look like Pinocchio, not Karabas( but then you have to behave appropriately).

- Who were you today, Pinocchio or Karabas?- asked the mother of her son, who was greedy and did not share toys with his friends.

This comparison with fairy-tale characters( whose roles children often take in the game) will help in the moral upbringing of the child, because in the fairy tale good and evil always go together, the actions of bad and good characters are always compared.

The same principle of comparing good and bad can be used by adults in the game. A specially organized game for adults, where the child is indirectly attributed to good features, which are compared in the course of the game with his real behavior( the behavior of his playing double), helps the child understand his "blunders", rebuild his behavior in accordance with the created "ideal" adult.

Anya( 5.5 years) offers her grandmother to play:

- Come on, granny, you are my mother, and I'm your daughter Anya. Take me to the theater.

Grandmother, playing along with Ana, goes with her to the "theater"( a room where her real mother watches the concert on TV).Grandmother, Anya and Mom all watch TV together. At the break, Anya involves her mother in the game:

- And let's you be a grandmother!

- No, - "offended" mother answers, - I'm not old yet, I also want to be my mother.

- All right, - agrees Anya, you are also my mother, but not mine, but this girl.

Anya puts her doll on her lap.

Grandmother "Mom" starts another conversation with "Mom":

- What is your daughter's name?

- Anya, - replies Mom, seating the doll more comfortable.

- Anya?- Amazed grandmother. - Wow, what a coincidence. At me too a daughter Anej call. She's such a wonderful girl. Kind, accurate, brave. He will always share sweets, play his toys with his friends. Always dresses neatly, socks and slippers do not scatter. Toys for themselves carefully removes.

In a word, the grandmother paints a portrait of an ideal girl who does not really look like her granddaughter.

- And I, - says another "mom"( about the doll, of course), - the daughter is very greedy, gives nothing to anyone. Everything shouts: "My, my!" One girlfriend asked her to play the ball, so she did not!

As this example is taken by Mama from Ani's real behavior on a recent walk, she is alert and listens very attentively to the conversation.

Grandmother continues:

- You know, there is such a high log in the children's park. So my daughter walks on it and is not afraid. I first supported her a little, but now she walks alone and very cleverly.

- And my - a coward, even afraid of standing on this log. So it will cling to me, which you will not tear off, - complains another "mother"( it is she, of course, about the doll, but the shameful fact is again taken from the biography of the real Ani).

- No, no, my daughter knows how. Come to us again, she and your girl will teach. I have a very good daughter, - sums up the grandmother.

On a walk, Anya says to her grandmother:

- I'll try to walk on a log, and you support me at first a little bit, then I myself.

When she manages to walk on a log without help, she is happy, repeats several times this difficult exercise for her. Returning from the walk, Anya says to her mother:

- And today I went through the log and was not afraid!

In the evening, without a reminder, she assiduously removes toys and neatly folds her clothes.

Such a dual role of "good" and "bad" girls makes it easier for the child to choose between good and bad, stimulates to certain positive behavior.

Techniques of this kind are very effective, but, of course, parents should not be overused by them.